Chapter 38: For Her

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Justin's POV:

My brain knew leaving Hailey with Ms.Opal was the right thing to do, but my heart didn't care a single fuck about right and wrong.
My heart was broken.
Like I could physically feel pain in my chest the further I was from my wife.
They say grown men don't cry, well whoever "they" are... "they" obviously have never been in love with someone.
Because when you love someone with every fiber of your being and then hurt them to keep them safe, you fucking cry.
And I cried for 8 hours straight as I drove home.
When I first left, I was practically sobbing.
The kind of crying where your nose gets runny and you can't catch your breath.
Then you slowly become numb.
Your tears dry on your skin, but you can still feel them.
You feel so physically and emotionally drained.
But then you think about what you've done again.
That maybe she was right...maybe we were stronger together.
Then your tears start again, this time softer.
But the pain in your chest intensifies.
This is when you really feel the loss.
This must be what they call "mourning".
All I could do was sob,become numb,and mourn in a repetitive cycle for my entire drive home.
I talked to Joey about the fight briefly.
He said everything was a go.
That the UFC was using my old promo photos and videos to hype up the match.
That the fight was projected to bring in huge numbers on Pay-Per-View.
I could care fucking less.
And Joey knew it, he seemed uneasy about me fighting Asher.
"Biz...I don't have a good feeling.
If he could do what he did to Charlie...well...who's to say he won't just try and kill you during the match?"
I snorted at Joey's absurdity.
"Joe, have you forgotten who I am?
All those times growing up, where I protected us...you.
Have some fucking faith man."
He was silent for a minute.
"Biz...I know you can take him one on one. But a bullet's a bullet. If that psychopath shoots you...you die."
He had a point, a point I didn't give a damn to hear.
"Then I die, Joey.
But I have to try."

I zoned out the rest of our conversation after that.
I went back to my cycle of tears, thinking about Hailey.
A couple of hours later, Fredo called.

"How is he?"
It had been over 24hrs since my last update from Fredo.
At that time, Charlie was still in a medically induced coma.
His vital signs were stable.
His surgeries to repair is lungs and liver were a success.
It was just a slow process.

"He spiked a temp and they are worried he may be going Septic.
His blood pressure is low and his heart rate is high.
The doctors are trying new antibiotics and a cooling blanket.
I haven't left his side, Justin.
But I'm really scared.
What if he dies?
And Hailey doesn't get a chance to say goodbye?"

I took in a bunch of deep breaths as my fingers dug into the steering wheel.

"He won't fucking die.
He's to damn stubborn for that.
Just tell him I said to keep fighting and stop being a pussy.
That should do it until I get there.
I'll be there soon."

"I'm sure the Nursing staff will be thrilled with me calling their critical patient a pussy."

He made me smile.
But then I felt like my smile was a betrayal.
Charlie was on death's door.
Hailey could lose her father.
And I had the nerve to smile...
My tears started up again the minute I heard the dial tone.

I arrived at the hospital and parked next to Joey's car.
He handed me a fully loaded 22 and I tucked it into the band of my boxers.
I wanted to be able to take Asher out if he tried to come to the hospital.
Fredo met me in the waiting room of the SICU and tried to hug me, but I just couldn't be touched.
Hopefully he understood, he seemed to anyway.
He left to go home and rest.
And I walked into room 3194.
Seeing Charlie like this was painful.
He was hardly recognizable with tubes and lines everywhere. His whole body was covered in bandages.
I watched the monitors for a minute.
His temperature was down.
His blood pressure and heart rate were stable.
I felt a tiny bit of hope.
I pulled a chair up to Charlie's bed and gently grabbed his hand.

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