Be mine forever

27. Comfort

Madison's POV
I went in the restroom and saw myself in the mirror. My hair was messed up, neck was filled with hickeys and my lipstick was scattered, giving a hint of my activity.

But I don't know how to feel.

Whether, I should be happy that, I did something I've been dieing to do or be sad, that this relationship is starting because of a sexual attraction rather than love?

Yes, I want him to kiss me, hug me, give me pleasure but not like this. If I tell the world that, I just had the best kiss of my life, a very simple question they'll ask me is that, who was it with?

And I couldn't answer that.

How can I give him a term that he's not. I can't tell the world that he's my boyfriend or my husband. And if he's neither of them, why did I share an intimate moment with him?

My profession is not of a prostitute.

I respect those people because they do it for money. They make a living out of that. But what was I doing?

He's not going to give me money for letting him kiss me.

These questions were very necessary in this exam of life and I couldn't answer. I felt like I failed in life.

My head was fussed. I don't know whether I did right or not? I looked at myself and saw a Madison who was craving for this sexual attraction, and I feel disgusted as its a part of me.

I shook my head. I can't cry over that right now. Because if I cry, the entire blame would come on Ethan. And I didn't want him to get stuck in a trap which he has nothing to do with.

I don't blame him. Even if he kissed me first, he realized he was doing wrong and he left me.

It was me who didn't let him go.

I was the one who pulled him back because I was just too desperate to feel him, kiss him and more importantly make him be near me.

I started fixing myself. I straightened my hair with the comb, washed my face and did touch up. I didn't feel like doing the entire makeup again. So I just applied compact, mascara and lipstick.

After getting ready I saw myself in the mirror. I don't know whether to get angry or pity myself? I couldn't really look at my face without looking away a several times.

If I'm not able to face myself, will I be able to face Ethan?

I made my way out, hoping I don't meet Ethan. But that man was standing just outside the restroom waiting for me.

I stepped back, took a deep breath, trying to make myself ready to face Ethan. After calming myself, I made my way out.

Seeing me coming, Ethan stood straight as he was leaning on the wall. He looked at me and I did the same. He looked dashing and hot as always.

He smiled a little, but I just gave him a blank stare. I went near him and said in a low, weak and tired sort of voice.

"Let's go"

He just nodded and started walking with me.

I know he would say something, but I prayed him not to. I don't have the courage to talk to him. I don't know how will I answer any of his questions.

We were about to enter the party area when he suddenly stopped me and said.

"Do you want to go inside?" he asked.

I took a few seconds to answer.

"Where else can we go?" I said in the similar weak voice, not looking at him.