Brute.

Thirty-Three

I heard a crack of thunder and moved to my living room window to look outside. I smiled at the sight of the storm and walked out my front door. I sat down on my front step and tucked my knees into my chest. I was mostly blocked from the wind and the rain, but I didn't mind being in the rain.

I don't know what it is about the rain, but I always loved it. It's like how there's always some beauty in chaos and destruction. Every moment of every day, a million things can go wrong and result in a tragedy. When it rains, the number of things that can go wrong only increases. Sorry, my dark and twisty is showing.

I just sat there, staring at the drops of rain as they collided with the parking lot in front of me. After a few minutes, I looked up to the sky, with my back resting against the pillars that lined my front door. There was a dark grey gloom that snaked across the sky, marbling with the dark blue of the night.

Tonight was particularly bad at work. I had drinks thrown on me, one guy grabbed my ass, and I even had someone try to grab my chest. I was used to drunken borderline-assault from old horny men, but I was used to such aggressive actions. It was violating, and it made me hate my job more than I ever had.

When I was a kid, thunderstorms used to scare me. Whenever there was a storm, I would go into my parent's bedroom and tug on my dad's arm until he'd wake up. Every time, he would bring me back to my bedroom and we'd watched the storm through my window. My dad would tell me about how you can turn anything into a good thing, no matter what it is. You just have to know where to look for the light. He would sing Rain by the Beatles to me as we would sit and watch the storm.

"Rain I don't mind, Shine the weather's fine, can you hear me, that when it rains and shines, it's just a state of mind," I sang to myself with a smile as I stared at the sky.

I will always remember Rain as a song my dad loved, being a Beatles lover every second of his life. After he died, I always thought of that song first as I would watch a storm, but eventually remembering his favorite songs hurt too much. It doesn't hurt to remember things like that about him anymore, but when it did hurt I had to find my own song.

When It Rains by Paramore became my storm song. It has an entirely different meaning from my dad's song, but the meaning of the song isn't really the important part. I wasn't looking for a storm song either. I had my music on, playing through some headphones while I sat by my window on a rainy night, as I was trying to block out one of my mom's rampages, and When It Rains came on. It resonated with me. It felt like it fit.

I was thinking about my storm song, and its piano chords, smiling as my fingers tapped over my knees. The only thing that could make this moment better would be to be at my lake. Or if Jimmy were here. I was pulled from all of my serenity as headlights were shining through the rain, parking next to my car.

"What are you doing?" Chandler laughed.

"Watching the rain," I called, "what's up?"

"I have a gift for you," Chandler smiled as Hannah climbed out of his front seat.

He jogged up to me and wrapped his arms around me with a hug. I opened my front door and held it for Chandler and Hannah. Chris' truck pulled up next to his car before Jimmy, Chris, and Jake got out to help Chandler carry whatever they were bringing.

"Trust us," Chandler smirked before he wrapped a bandana around my eyes so I couldn't see whatever they were bringing in.

Hannah led me to the couch to sit down before she returned to the door to hold it open for the boys. I could hear them struggling as they carried whatever it was into my home.

"Please be careful," I pleaded with a laugh, "I don't want anyone to get hurt."

"We're always careful," Chandler scoffed.