𝗮𝗿𝗺'𝘀 𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗵; norenmin

~thirty six~

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"Please don't tell him," Renjun begged quietly in the darkness, clinging to the younger's back as they lay in bed. Jeno couldn't face him, feeling so confused and bad. He felt like he was a bad person. "It would break his heart."

The brunette sighed, "I wasn't going to....." But he paused, swallowing harshly and shuffling around to face the older properly. "But I don't understand you two. I know you think I'm dumb or something, but it's not fun being stuck on the other side of the fence. You two are always hiding stuff from me......was it just me who thought we were all so close?"

Renjun shook his head quickly, "No, Jeno. God no, that's not it. We aren't hiding things from you. But sometimes you can really be an oblivious idiot."

"Ouch. That felt like a stab wound. What to you mean?"

We love you, the Chinese wanted to say so desperately. To get this horrible burden off his chest. But he also didn't want to expose Jaemin like that....the younger must've had his reasons. So instead, he used the remaining pieces of courage he had after what had just happened only moments earlier.

"I like you."

Jeno frowned, moving his head to fix his angle, thinking he had heard him wrong. "Hm?"

The older rolled his eyes. What an oblivious son of a- ugh! He needed to be patient though, since he knew Jeno was never exposed to these sorts of problems. "I like you. More than a friend, if that makes sense."

"It does," Jeno murmured, panicking internally and not knowing what to do with this information. "B-But.....I don't know what to say?"

Renjun bit into his lower lip, feeling the sting in his chest since the younger probably wasn't yet able to return his feelings. Or if he felt anything, couldn't even recognise them.

Or worse case scenario, he already liked Jaemin. That was Renjun's nightmare.

"So you finally admitted it," the brunette eventually shut down the awkward silence beginning to settle. "You admit you're gay."

The Chinese gasped, almost forgetting the others didn't know. Or, based on his response, had already guessed. "How could you tell?"

Yikes, Jeno thought to himself, will he call me an idiot again if I say I was shocked to hear it from Sicheng? "I had a feeling, y'know?"

"Lee Jeno? Had a feeling? Mister Can't See Heart Eyes From Two Centimetres Away?"

The younger started to laugh, feeling Renjun's cold finger press against his lips as they both tried to settle down. They giggled with each other, attempting to control the sound so not to wake the youngest.

"Okay, okay, I think it's time to sleep," the oldest finally sighed, feeling less intimidated and awkward than before, and feeling somewhat relieved to have his feelings off his chest. If Jeno didn't get reciprocate, then that was okay. He couldn't force anything.

But Jaemin would pose as a problem if the brunette didn't already like him.

"Renjun," Jeno whispered while curling up and closing his eyes.

"Mmm?"

"I'm sorry I can't say those words back. But maybe.....maybe someday I will. You never know."

The older chuckled, ruffling his hair and holding onto that tendril of hope the other had created, "I hope so too. I'd always look after you."

..........

"Mhm," Jaemin huffed, making various alphabet noises though failing with something simple like 'cat' or 'mum'. It was infuriating.

He was once again in front of the mirror, though this time dressed in a light weight robe since he wanted to take a shower after. "J-" he tried, hoping Jeno's name was motivation enough for him to speak. "J...j...."

Nope. Apparently not.

Fuck this! He thought to himself finally, pulling the white gown off and tossing it on a hanger behind the door.

He flicked the tap on for the water to start running in the shower. Steam almost immediately blurred his vision, the warmth creating droplets along his toned skin.

"R....R...." he attempted to say 'Renjun', imagining a Chinese name was perhaps a step too far. "R-"

"Everything okay in there?" Jeno called, knocking on the door to gain a response.

Jaemin almost had a mini heart attack, yelling out "Shit!" in surprise, and choking on the dryness of his throat.

Did he just......no, did he?

I just spoke again! He cheered internally, thinking about when he yelled 'stop' at the other two that day in the cafe. This was like a similar occurrence.

"Jaemin?!" Jeno called again. "You alright?"

The blonde smiled so brightly, his cheeks would ache from it. Running to the door and bursting it open he faced Jeno and mouthed, 'I just spoke! Did you hear?' He hoped the younger was a good lip reader, because he had left his phone on his bed.

But Jeno wasn't reading his mouth. His eyes had started to trail down the youngest's body before he blushed and immediately spun around. "Jeez Jaemin! At least warn me!"

The blonde gasped, realising the error he had made and closed the door over so he could peep his head out. He hummed to let the other know it was okay.

Slowly returning his glance to him, the brunette arched his brow. "What were you saying before?"

'I yelled something! I was shocked, and it just slipped out'.

Jeno watched as Jaemin's lips moved slowly to make life easier. "You spoke?"

'Yes'.

"Oh my god, that's amazing! How? What did you say?"

The other pursed his lips, trying to refrain from laughing. 'I said 'shit''.

Rolling his eyes as if he wasn't surprised, Jeno nodded along. "Of course you did. Then....say Jeno. Say my name for me!"

Jaemin pouted, thinking, like I haven't tried that, Dumbass. He would've if he could've, but it wasn't yet possible.

But time would heal him, and he was already getting better.

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