Team Fortress 2 Oneshots and Head Canons

Engineer × Reader(Vent)

Trigger warning(s)?: Depressive thoughts, and fake friends
Know that you are not alone even if things are hard it gets better.
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I let out a long sigh as I scroll through my emails and messages on the base's computer. It surprises me how good the internet is here with it being 1968 and all but this seems to be the only way for us on the team to get mail and news without our base location being revealed. As I mindlessly scroll I notice that all of the people that I used to trust,I was friends with,block me on everything. I try to ask a few of the people who hadn't blocked me yet what I did,but to my dismay,no reply. I am confused, why did this happen? All of the friendships I had before getting this job are all gone, not a single trace of them left. I lean back in the chair and groan, I told my "friends" that I might be off a bit because of my work and all. Because first off,working as a mercenary is hard as hell. All you do is cause violence and chaos, and you don't get paid well to do it either. The best part is you at least get free food, a place to live, and you can leave base when you please as long as it's a ceasefire,but those are becoming more and more rare. I told these friends that I might be off because it is an emotionally draining job but they didn't seem to care. I think the part I don't mind about my current job situation is that I'm the only woman. Which sounds kind of strange since that seems out of character for most people. I mean, yeah it was awkward at first but the guys never do any of this petty bullshit that my 'friends' did. I mean hell I'm even dating one of the guys, and the rest are like brothers to me. I sit back up and just stare at the light radiating off of the computer monitors, this isn't fair. I always tried to be friendly and happy to them,I never told these people anything other than what they would want to hear, and that must have not been good enough for this batch of people to abandon me. I have had this happen every year now,whenever I open up,tell them that I'm depressed and I don't feel great some days they leave me alone. Hell sometimes I don't even open up but these friends abandon me and these used to be great relationships are broken beyond repair all because of who I am. "Am I not good enough?" "Will the mercs abandon me next?" "Why do I keep trying?" I sigh as these thoughts keep going through my mind,as if words from the past weren't hurtful enough as it is,as if thinking of the people who I trusted just up and left didn't hurt,my own thoughts hurt more. I close the tabs that used to be full of messages that are now empty and shut off the computer. I just sit in the dimly lit room full of black screens. I feel a few tears slip down my cheeks,this isn't fair,what did I do to deserve? I take a deep breathe,wipe away my tears and walk out of the room,thank god the computer room was near the living quarters. I am walking through the halls,my head down,eyes looking at my feet as if they were the most interesting thing to distract from the fact that I was crying just moments before. The only reason I'm not running into walls is because how well I know this base, but I know I am almost to my room. Everything was fine but I feel myself run into someone. I look up at whoever I bumped into. "Sorry bout that darlin." I notice the accent and already know who it is,Dell,my boyfriend. I can't read his expression that well due to the hard hat and goggles right now,but I see his lips go down into a frown. "Sweet pea,what's wrong." He takes my hands as he asks this and I shake my head "its,nothing." I choke up a little trying to act fine and he catches on. He keeps a secure but gentle hold of my small hands in his large gloved ones. "Do you trust me?" I nod and he opens my door and walks me in, shutting it softly behind him. He turns on the light and leads me to my bed,making sure I don't trip on anything random on my floor. I sit down on my bed and he lets go of my hand so he can sit next to me. He takes off his hard hat and moves his goggles to the top of his head. I lean on his shoulder,I just needed to know someone was there for me right now. He wraps his arm around my back so I can comfortably lean on him. "Do you wanna talk bout it?" He asks me this quietly and I shake my head no. "Maybe another time..." He nods and just comforts me as best as he can. I smile up at him and just kiss his cheek. "Thank you...for always being here...and loving me.." He shakes his head "it's no problem sugar." He gently kisses me back. I take a few deep breaths and I explain why I am upset. He listens as he rubs my back. I get upset again but he softly shushes me. "It's okay darling, it ain't fair this keeps happenin to you. But you are the most wonderful girl I have ever known and I am never gonna leave you honey." He kisses my forehead and I nod and hug him completely. He hugs me back and just holds me. "You know I won't leave you, and none of the guys want to abandon you either, we won't be the same group without ya." I nod and smile a bit at him. I am happy that even through all of this, I will always have him.
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Edited and rewritten: 3-7-2022
Word count: 1063
Original Word count: 750