To Be Child of God [A Merome Story]

✧Chapter 12✧

The date was getting closer and closer. The idea of my wedding, of getting married, was still as scary as ever but I was calm knowing that the man I would be married to was kind, calm and genuine and he wanted to help me get out. But I had to make that decision on my own first. I needed more information, I needed to meet Lachlan. I couldn't keep going through a third party with this sort of thing.

My siblings were getting nervous about it too, but the younger ones were also upset. Gabriel's going to live in a new place, even though it was only ten minutes away, had really thrown them off and the fact that I would be leaving soon too made it even worse. Finally the little ones seemed to get what marriage was, and it meant we would be leaving them. My parents were just the opposite, so excited for me.

To distract myself at home I spent most of my time sewing. I ran my hands through the thick white fabric I had picked out for my wedding dress as I sewed, knowing that I would wear it soon. I made four new dresses as well, a more simple style than my ones from childhood, and several headscarves. Another difference between girls and women- married women covered their hair, for the first time on their wedding day.

I honestly didn't know if I was more excited or nervous about it. I was just in this state of panic all the time because I really didn't know how it would pan out. There was still some tiny part in my brain that feared Jerome was lying to me, he was simply trying to draw me out into the evil world, but I also agreed with him. I couldn't be my true self here. I truly wasn't a girl, but if I ever wanted to be a boy then I had to leave, whether it was with Jerome or not. I knew if I left, then he would likely follow.

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Terah went into labour about a week early, but it was safe for her to give birth at home. I couldn't bring myself to be at her side when her child was brought into the world, knowing the situation behind it. This child was Preston's child, not my brothers, and it didn't feel right to be there. All I knew was that Gabriel was thrilled, coming around to our house to briefly share the news before rushing back to be at the side of his new wife. He wasn't kidding when he said he would embrace this child as his own. He was a good man. He wouldn't treat this child any different than his own to come.

After 16 hours of labour, her mother, my mother and her husband at her side, Terah delivered a healthy baby boy. Close family, myself included, were invited to meet the new member of our family two days later when Terah had recovered a little and the parents had spent some quality time with their new arrival. Caleb. I liked the name, but it was nothing new.

My hands were shaking as I held my first nephew, a tiny thing who was quite content to lie against me, holding onto my little finger even in sleep. Gabriel watched me with a quiet smile. Of course, he thought I would be having children of my own soon.

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For the next few days my family was completely distracted by the new arrival, enough to really not mind what I was doing. This time it was I who sought Jerome out, sneaking out of the house around lunch time on a Tuesday to head towards his workplace and hope that he was on a break too.

He was. He saw me coming down the road and turned to make sure no one was watching me before walking over to me instead. I stayed a bit away, knowing that by coming any closer we might be caught by anyone who worked alongside him. Jerome grinned at me, first reaching out to take my hand.

"Hey Mitch, how are you?" He asked. "I heard about the new baby. Terah's okay?"

"Yeah, she's alright. We've had the baby around at our place for a couple of days so no one's really been paying attention to me. I don't think they've noticed that I've left." I said, sighing. "I'm... okay, I guess. Tired. Nervous. Scared. I don't really know how to describe it, really."

"Mm." Jerome murmured. "That makes sense. I guess I feel the same way too but... I figured you'd want to know, I met up with Lachlan again just after your nephew arrived. It's the first time I've seen him in a while."

I nodded slowly, frowning. What could he have wanted to talk to Jerome about?

"It's okay, it wasn't anything bad. He just wanted to get some information about the new baby, Preston's staying with him. Well, so are Rob and Grace and the girls, but that's not the point. Preston wanted to know how his baby is doing, if he was a boy or a girl."

"O-oh." I said quietly. "I didn't know they were with her- him. I didn't know they were staying with Lachlan. Did he get them out?"

"Yes, he did. Rob got in contact with him after some difficulties with their faith. They didn't want to raise their girls in such an oppressive environment, they wanted them to be able to make their own choices, go to a worldly school. They've confirmed that Grace has another baby on the way too, they were able to find out the gender too. It's a little boy this time."

It took some time for that information to compute. I had kind of figured that Grace was pregnant again, but it was weird to realise the exact reason for their reason. They no longer believed in the faith.

"The other thing I wanted to explain was about Lachlan and where he's staying. He's actually staying at his boyfriends place, he's a lovely boy named Vikk. I met him when I last saw Lachlan."

I frowned a little. Lachlan had a... boyfriend? But he had transitioned to being a boy, surely that meant he would like girls? But, then again, I was a guys and I liked... guys. I think. I was so, so confused about that but I needed to get my head around everything else before I even considered my romantic interests. I liked Jerome, I knew that, but further than that I had no clue. I didn't really care right then to be honest.

"I know that face." Jerome said, tilting his head. "Is it the boyfriend thing?"

"I think so...?" I managed to say. "I just... he's a boy isn't he? So he would like girls? But I'm a boy, maybe, and I think I like boys? I'm so confused!" I wailed.

Jerome reached out and hugged me tightly, as I groaned into his shoulder. I didn't understand, I needed more information and it was making me so upset. It was only when I stopped squirming and my breathing evened that he tried to explain.

"I don't think sexuality is really connected to your gender, Mitch. You can be whatever gender, but you can also love anyone. They really aren't connected at all." He murmured, gently running a hand through my hair. "But you don't need to think about that right now. All you need to know is that Preston, Rob, Grace and girls are doing well, and them and Lachlan are staying at Vikk's place."

I managed to nod, closing my eyes. I just wanted to sleep, honestly. I didn't want to go home to a three month old sister and a newborn nephew. I wanted to stay with Jerome forever because he was just so comforting, he understood that I needed some time to breathe and he could give me what no one else could at home. He couldn't give me time as we had none, but he could give me comfort.

"It'll be alright." He said quietly. "We'll make it."