To Be Child of God [A Merome Story]

✧Chapter 25✧

Jerome didn't want to leave me but after only a day and night the elders made a request for him to return to work. They talked about leaving me to pray, about how I was in a fragile state and given I was carrying a child too, and I needed to spend some time reflecting, alone. The Lord would guide me.

I don't think I noticed the lack of Jerome's presence throughout the day. I lay in bed with my eyes closed and let the time tick past, not fully aware of the fact that Faith was no longer there. No, she was in the room just down the hall, planning to leave once she told our parents. She would have a healthy little girl she would name Amity in a worldly hospital, where any complications could be aided.

None of the last few days had happened. She was still here. She was.

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I was so grief stricken, I didn't even realise that Terah had gone into labour. Jerome may have mentioned it at some point later that night what was going on, but I was so out of it that I didn't hear him. It was mentioned again the next night, that she had given birth to a little boy who would christened Israel in the next few days. He was healthy and she was recovering.

When Jerome was with me, which was only after work and when he brought me a meal in the morning, he almost never let me go. He held me tight against him and I kept one hand tangled in his shirt, eyes only half open because while I couldn't sleep, I also couldn't stay awake either.

I felt I was still in shock. My brain was still trying to process the idea of my sister and niece being gone but I also couldn't concentrate on anything Jerome said. He tried to talk to me, he tried to ramble on about everything that had happened during the day, but that quickly trailed off when he realised I wasn't listening. It was almost like I wasn't there. I was off on some other planet where my little sister was still around.

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Charity, Gabriel, Faith, Joy, Hope, Liam, Justice, Matthew, Thomas, Mercy, Harmony. It seemed strange thinking over those names now, when I no longer associated with one name and the name of another would not be used to speak of a living person. There had once been eleven of us, twelfth on the way. I didn't count myself anymore, so now my parents were down to nine children. There should have three grandchildren for them now, but instead there were only two.

"Mitch, we have to go." Jerome whispered, drawing me out of my head for just a moment. "We can't stay here. Darling, Faith is gone. We have to go."

"But what about the others." I said quietly. "My siblings, my friends...."

"No." He said. "I know you care about them, I know you want to help them, but you can't do that from here. This is for your own safety Mitch, and for the safety of the baby. It isn't healthy or safe for you to stay here any longer. If you want to help, do it like Lachlan. By showing them that it's okay out there."

I didn't respond.

"Rob's coming to get us tomorrow night."

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Life came in short, sharp bursts. Everything would be vivid for a few hours and then there would be patches of time coming so fast I didn't even realise it was passing.

I tried to make the most of my last day in the community. I dragged myself from bed, showered and dressed, hair tied in a neat braid for one final day. It seemed to be the only part of me that remained unchanged, that I recognised of myself when my body and the world around me changed.

I tried to visit my mother that morning, but Joy, now the oldest girl in the household, turned me away at the door.

"Mother is in labour." She said with a smile. "She did not want you there in a time of such turmoil for your soul. Gabriel will come get you once our new sibling enters the world."

"I- alright."

I had less than eighteen hours before I would be leaving this place forever, and I knew I would not see my new sibling in that time. Mother would need a day or so to recover, and would not allow me to see her until the following day at least- I would be gone by then.

"May I take the children out then?" I asked her, and she allowed me with a relieved smile.

"Of course, it will be good for them to get some energy out. Thank you for the offer. I know the younger ones are a little confused about what has been going on."

Before I left, carrying the youngest two and ushering the rest in front of me, I asked the two sisters staying behind an important question. It was something I had wanted to know for a long time, as I had never experienced a death in the family, nor I had I ever experienced someone close to us leaving. Justice hadn't fully understood the implications of Grace leaving, I doubted any of the children or maybe even my oldest siblings would truly understand it.

"Do they know about Faith? Do they understand the difference between death and being dead to us?"

"I do not know." Joy murmured. "Father said he would explain it to them, but I do not believe he has. It is best to just leave it."

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"It is time to go." Jerome whispered to me, helping me to my feet. Neither of us had bothered to change out of our day clothes and he hadn't even taken his shoes off, pacing the room as quietly as he could. We couldn't risk waking anyone.

I knew I couldn't take much, it wasn't worth taking anything anyway, but in my arms I held a few items I couldn't bear to part with. I held two items of baby clothing, one made by my mother and one made my Faith, for my baby. There was a pair of white cloth boots as well. I also carried a bible, one I had had since birth and, most treasured, a headscarf that had belonged to Faith. I wished I could take my wedding dress, but it was in her wardrobe, altered for my sister.

Tiptoeing from the room, Jerome's hand in mine, we made our way to the stairs. My heart was pounding almost out of my chest- what if someone found us? Would they stop us?

The car waited for us about five minutes away from the community buildings, idling and quiet, lights off. The back door opened and a hand was held out to me, palm up, kind and welcoming. Lachlan gestured for me to sit beside him, buckling my seatbelt for me, Jerome climbing into the seat on my other side. Rob sat in the front, hands gripping the wheel so tightly his knuckles turned white.

"Let's go Rob." Lachlan breathed, voice thick with worry as he looked at me. "Vikk's house."

And then he turned to me and Jerome.

"Welcome to the world, Mitch, Jerome. It's gonna be a long journey."