Confusion (Sequel to I Wish...)

Chapter 11

Chapter song: Without a Word by Birdy
(Justin's pov)
Selena wasn't here. She told me that she was hanging out with her friends today. I would've gone, but she said it was a girl thing. I tried calling her to let her know I wasn't gonna be here when she came back. No answer.
"You're gonna see Becca aren't you?"
Ryan walked up to me.
"Will Selena get mad? I've called her and no answer"
I was convinced that it wouldn't be my fault.
"That's not my problem. You're the one who's confused, bro"
He gave me an accusing look.
"I love Selena....but...I think...I think I love Becca again"
I mumbled the truth.
"You think? What did I tell you? You can't just stop loving Becca like that. Good luck trying to get her back"
He patted my shoulder. I walked out the door. I had my bodyguards bring the furniture to Becca's apartment.
"Thanks"
I said to them as I carried the boxes to her door. Once I had all the boxes set in front of her door, I knocked. Becca opened the door.
"Hey"
I smiled friendly at her. She didn't answer, just moved out of the way for me to move the boxes inside. After I had everything inside, I realized Becca had her head down on the table.
"What's wrong, Becca?"
I sat next to her.
"Nothing. I'm just tired"
She mumbled, not looking at me.
"Seriously, Becca, what's wrong? Look at me"
I placed my hand on her arm. She flinched then raised her head and looked at me. My hand was shaken off. Why did she flinch for? She did look tired, but she still looked beautiful.
"Are you wearing makeup? You hate makeup"
I brushed my thumb over her cheek to see it had a tannish color to it.
"People change"
She shoved my hand away and was about to put her head down when I hugged her.
"Justin"
She winced, making me break the hug.
"Why did you do that?"
I furrowed my eyebrows.
"I don't feel good"
She mumbled.
"Then lay down, bae"
I stood up. She sighed and laid on the air mattress.
"...Thanks"
Her ocean blue eyes weren't the same. They were gray and broken.
"Are we friends now?"
I sat beside her.
"Yes"
She narrowed her eyes.
"Really?"
I smiled hopefully at her.
"If you want"
She muttered carelessly. But I cared.
"Thank you. I know you're sick of me, but I'm sorry. I'm so sorry about everything. I miss you so much. I miss...us...and I know my chances are very small with you. You will never forgive me, and I don't expect you to. Not after what I've put you through...I'm sorry"
I spoke as her eyes watered.
"...all we had, all we did were lies. Everything you promised me, you broke them. It hurt so much...I don't think you understand that. At least you came prepared, knowing that I won't forgive you...cos I'm not. It's over, Ju-"
"I'll go"
I stood up. I didn't want to hear the rest. It hurt too much.
"See you tomorrow?"
I was hoping I would.
"No"
Becca dried her eyes.
"Please?"
I remained standing.
"I can't"
She shook her head.
"Why not?"
I studied her reaction.
"I just can't"
She mumbled. I saw how desperate she was.
"...Ok"
I turned around and walked out. Damn, this hurts. I drove home on the verge of losing my mind.
"How'd it go?"
Ryan was on his phone.
"She wasn't feeling well"
I muttered.
"I guess I'll to pay her a visit later"
Somehow, that made me jealous. The way Becca treats Ryan and Chaz makes me miss her even more.
"Justin, you're here"
Selena bursted from the kitchen and kissed me.
"Hey babe"
I kissed back. I don't know what to do anymore.
(Becca's pov)
Tears streamed down my face. Why is life so complicated? What is Justin doing? Surely, he can't be trying to get me back. That would be stupid. But what if he wants me back? I stood up and went to a nearby bar. What's the big deal? Nobody would care. I've done this a few times before. I ordered whatever liquor I could and chugged as much as the pain would allow me to. I felt weird and dizzy when I finished. I barely made it back to my apartment in time before I passed out on the floor.
-6am-
My body was sore when I woke up. What'd I expect? I've been on this hard floor for hours. My stomach flipped, and I threw up in the toilet. It felt like my insides were pouring out. Finally, I stopped and sat against the wall. Well, i guess it's time to go to Max's again. I stood up and took a few pain pills before walking outside. I walked to Max's apartment and knocked. Here we go.
"Oh, it's just your bitch"
Selena opened the door. We glared at each other. As much I hated Justin, I think he doesn't deserve Selena.
"Max, I'm really not in the mood. Please don't take it personal. I'm just really tired"
I was begging him.
"I get it, baby. I'm not gonna ,hurt you"
Max's words were unbelievable.
"...Selena is"
That made my heart fall. Just then, I felt something tug me to the floor. Selena tackled me and hit me as many times as she could. I pushed her away. That took so much of my energy away. I took the chance and ran out of the apartment. It hurt, but I sprinted to my apartment. On my way, I ran smack into someone.
"I'm so sorry"
I looked up to see...Justin.
"Becca, why are you running?"
He furrowed his eye brows.
"I-I...it's nothing. I was just in a rush..."
I caught my breath.
"...Why are you here?"
I asked him. I thought I told him to not see me.
"...I was gonna give you this"
He handed me a chocolate bar.
"Oh...thanks"
I entered my apartment and set it down on the counter.
"I see you're pretty busy...and feeling better"
Justin shut the door. I didn't say anything.
"Are you ok?"
His breath hit the back of my neck, making me turn around and meet his caramel brown eyes.
"Yea"
I narrowed my eyes.
"What happened?"
He held my hands. I flinched a little and winced from the pain. I looked down to see them bruised. It was from trying to block Selena.
"When I was running..."
I pulled my arm back into my safety.
"Becca, I'm sorry about yesterday"
He muttered in shame.
"...It's fine"
I was nervous about how close he was to me. I took deep breaths to calm myself. He's way too close to me, and I'm scared and hurt from earlier.
"Becca, are you ok?"
Justin must've noticed. I just felt the urge to cry.
"Hey, hey, breathe for me, ok? Breathe...in...then out...in....then out"
He held my shoulders gently. I breathed as his instructions told me then calmed down.
"Sorry"
I breathed out quietly.
"It's ok..."
He stepped back a bit.
"...Listen...I know I hurt you. I broke so many promises. I broke your heart. I broke, I ruined, everything we had. I want you to know that I didn't hurt you out of carelessness or hate. I was trying to find someone like you, because I missed you so much. I felt like I was going crazy. And Selena...I fell for her and forgot what I was looking for in the first place. I felt like I was over you until I came back. When I saw you again, I wanted to call you mine. You were so perfect. Then I saw you've moved on too. I felt terrible for hurting you. I still do. I know you're probably hurting like crazy right now. I am too. Becca...I can't lose you. I still love you..."

(A/N: Sorry for cliffhanger😁)
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