Falling Irrevocably

29th

29th

"Is a bodyguard necessary?" Sabi ko habang tiningnan ang lalaking naka-all black uniform.

Nung bata naman ako ay may bodyguard na talaga ako. And it's always been Kuya Psalm's idea. Being high profiled is dangerous. Pero dahil makulit at rebelde ako, tinanggal din nila. Wala namang nangyayaring masama sa akin. Well, nabastos na ako, once or twice?

It's absurd to have a bodyguard on my age tho.

"Utos lang sa akin ni Kuya Psalm," Ani ni Kuya Isaac at nagkibit balikat. Sabi na eh.

Gusto ko mang tumanggi pero hindi pwede. Baka lalo lang magalit si Kuya Psalm kapag pinilit kong tanggihan ang bodyguard na in-assign niya para sa akin.

"It looks like it's not for your safety. He just wants to make sure that no one from his friends, specially Enzo, can get closer to you,"

It's been a week since the incident happened at the mansion. Umuwi na rin kami ni Andra nung gabing iyon dahil ayaw pa rin talaga ako kausapin ni Kuya Psalm. Ilang araw na rin akong hindi pumasok sa opisina dahil gustong kong magpahinga sa mga nangyari.

Now, Kuya Isaac knocked at my door with a bodyguard beside him. Pinadala raw ito ni Kuya Psalm para sa akin, sa amin ni Andra.

Well, I have been receiving messages and calls from Chanler. I haven't answered nor reply yet. Ni hindi ko nga binabasa ang mga ito. I think we all need a time and space to heal a bit from the incident. Hind ko rin siya pwedeng kitain dahil magagalit ang kapatid ko kahit kinukulit na ako ni Andra na makita ang ama niya muli.

At hanggang ngayon naman ay hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala sa mga narinig ko nung araw na iyon. First, he liked me when I was a teen. Gusto pala niya ako, no, scratch that, he clearly told me that I was his first love. So I concluded that those times I've been tempting him, he's just stopping himself. And he feels the same way, hindi ko lang alam.

Ano mahal mo pa, Dennilah Kadynce? I scoffed. No need to answer.

Second, he tried to get my brother's permission to court me. Hindi ko naman masisi si Kuya Psalm na hindi payagan ito dahil magkakaibigan sila at sobrang bata ko pa nuon.

And yeah, I tempted him with such a young age. I sarcastically thought.

Hindi nga lang siya naging matapang na harapin ulit ang kapatid ko para sa bagay na iyon. Or maybe because I already did something before he could do it again? I put him in the corner and he gave in.

Third and the most important one, I didn't kill their, I mean, Celine's child by pushing her. Hindi ko lang maipaliwanag kung bakit siya dinugo nung araw na iyon. Siguro ay hindi nawala yung baby nung araw na iyon kagaya nung nangyari na naka-survive si Andra sa akin. So why did she abort her child then point the fault at me. Is she a psycho or something? Why would you kill your own child?

The fourth and the last one is the fact that Celine's child wasn't Chanler's. Was she that desperate?

Well, base from my experience, I know desperation is a toxic. It will make you do things, horrible one, if I may add. Siguro ay mahal na mahal niya rin si Chanler kaya niya nagawa iyon.

Yet, I can't help but be mad at her. All along I thought it was my fault. I carried the guilt that made me depress. Tapos malalaman ko na hindi ko naman pala kasalanan.

"Ma'am, tumawag po ang MC gallery-- sino po 'yan?"

Mika eyes went to the bodyguard in my back. I unconsciously rolled my eyes.

The bodyguard is staying with us 24/7. I sometimes wonder if he eat nor sleep. Kagabi ay sinilip ko ito at nakatayo sa labas ng pinto ng unit namin. Tapos kaninang umaga, nagulat ako na nanduon pa rin siya. Nung hinatid ko si Andra sa school ay alam kong may nakasunod sa akin na sasakyang itim. Now, he's still with me, here in my office.