boss 2 •• nct lucas

t h i r t y - t h r e e

kim baram

she was outside, she knew that there's a lot of air around her and why does she suddenly felt like she's stuck inside a small room that makes her hard to breath?

the weather seems fine but why suddenly she feel sweat dripping down the side of her forehead? why does everything around her make it hard for her to concentrate?

and why does it feel like the bus purposely come late so that she'll meet jaehyun?

seoul was big, that what makes baram less nervous or worried about seeing jaehyun around her. but then she remember that jaehyun is one of johnny's friends makes her worry even more.

it wasn't that she didn't like the idea of meeting jaehyun again, but she's afraid that those memories she wanted to forget suddenly rush back to her head.

if she saw jaehyun again, she cannot help but to blame herself again for everything.

jaehyun was the best she could ask for. he's the man that she wanted to marry someday but after what happens, she's glad that jaehyun already have someone else.

baram loved jaehyun, he's the kindest person she's ever known and how hard she prayed that jaehyun replace her with someone who is truly for him.

"it's been a while, baram-ah." those were the first sentence that came out his mouth. baram clench her jaw, not wanting to scream or lose control by how still soft jaehyun's voice for her ear. the way he called her name, makes her regret everything she did in the past.

baram nodded her head, still fighting the noisy noise inside her head.

"how are you?" he asks.

"i'm... good, you?" baram replied and ask back, since she thought that it wasn't her that need to be asked but him.

baram saw how his eyes still locked with her and saw his pink her ears are.

no matter how much she try to fight not fangirling and thinking about the past with jaehyun, those memories played by itself inside the cinema of her head.

"airport was the last time we seen each other." baram said softly before avoiding his eyes, feeling like she can't take to look further into those eyes towards the memory lane.

jaehyun nodded his head, "where are you going by the way?"

baram thought that jaehyun would have ignored her if he sees her anywhere and she thought that jaehyun hated her for life but maybe she was wrong.

"home," she replied, "my friend lives around here and can't drive me home back home because of something."

"l-let me drive you home, i was on my way back home too--"

"thank you jae, i--" baram bit her bottom lip, the nickname she used to give him slip off her lips just like that before she clears her throat, "i moved out from that apartment anyways, it's far from where i used to live now."

what a great save kim baram...

jaehyun nodded his head before looking to the side and saw a bus driving closer towards the bus stop any minute and quickly took baram's hand that she took by surprise.

"let's have a chat." he said before opening the passenger door for her to sit.

baram didn't know what to say, she saw the bus too and didn't have time to say no when the bus hit it's honk that made baram slide into the passenger seat quickly and jaehyun made his way back to the driver seat before driving off the bus stop.

--

it's kind of a relieve that jaehyun didn't insist her to take him to her house--where johnny would be because it was his house and it would be a disaster if jaehyun knew.

both of them had ended up in a cozy cafe near where baram used to live and wanting to curse to jaehyun; why do he have to make her play those memories again?

baram is a fool too, didn't rejected that he take her here and didn't even fight to say no to him when he grab her wrist and took her to his car without even fighting a single muscle.

and she had to face what's happening right now.

jaehyun hasn't change much, but baram notices one or two changes on him.

first his pink hair. she hates how it suits him really well that makes her fail to be a women where a guy can pull something off; more to like woman color.

and the second changes were, the ring that circle around his finger.

she beginning to notice how her eyes becomes blurry as she avoid his gaze after placing down his cup of coffee and gave her a questioning look.

those wasn't just a promise ring or a ring that told her that he already had a girlfriend, but a ring that told her that he'll be married soon.

"is there anything wrong, baram?" jaehyun asks after ten minutes of silence since the first chat they had which is nothing important.

baram shook her head, "no, it's just the voices in my head that keeps bothering me."

"do you still do that?" jaehyun asks as he chuckled and shook his head, "spacing out with those voices roaming around your head?"

baram stared at him like a deer caught in headlights. after so many years he still remembers her bad habits about spacing out.

"do you... miss it?" jaehyun asks and let out a sigh as if he's been preparing himself for asking that question. baram furrowed her brows.

"miss what?" she ask back.

jaehyun shrug his shoulders looking around him before setting his eyes back to baram that's been waiting for him to answer.

"us?"

the words scares baram for some reason. she never thought that she would be seated in some nice cafe with jeahyun in front of her asking the question that might not just slipped from his lips. her eyes went wide and couldn't stop from blinking.

"i-i..." baram trailed off, didn't know what to say or even what to answer the question that jaehyun had just ask.

does she miss the time where she's with jaehyun? or she just miss the thought of having a partner that look out for her more than just friends?

sure she admit that all the time she spend with jaehyun was wonderful, he's the first boyfriend she ever had and left a beautiful story for her to remember but all she do to him is leave him with a scar in his heart where she should do the same to what jaehyun gave her.

her eyes lands at jaehyun who's still waiting for an answer that is on the tip of her tongue, but hesitate whether she should reply or not. besides, jaehyun already have a fiancee and she don't want to ruin everything he already has.

"do you miss us?" jaehyun asks again, making sure if she didn't hear the first.

baram blinked her eyes as she squeeze the hem of her bag and bite her inner cheek.

"i don't know, it's been years." she replied and relieved that maybe that was the best answer she could give to jaehyun.

but she know herself well, that wasn't the answer she wanted to give jaehyun. it's just she couldn't express what she's really feeling, afraid that someone would get hurt because of her words.

jaehyun nodded his head, looking down to his palms a disappointed look plastered on his face.

"i do," jaehyun said before place his eyes on baram, "i do miss us since the day you left."