When Lines Blur

Chapter Ten

A few days passed and Levi watched across the hallway as Jaxson talked to his friends. He had gotten out of the mental hospital just last night and his friends were watching him like a hawk. Not like Levi blamed them though, he did try to do something stupid over something that happened a while ago, but it still hurt. When he looked at Jaxson, he could remember how badly it still hurt. He never intended to hurt Jaxson to the point of a break up, he didn't realize what he was doing was hurting Jaxson.

As he watched Jaxson, Levi analyzed his behaviors. Did Jaxson miss him too? Did Jaxson hurt as badly as he did? Levi wished he could read minds just to understand if he did or not. He could ask Jaxson, but not around others, that would be awkward for them both. However, if Levi could get Jaxson alone, he could ask. To get Jaxson alone would involve asking as well though, the whole situation was complicated and not easily mended.

Jaxson's friends walked off to their classes, and Levi chose to shoot his shot, and walked up to Jaxson. Jaxson nearly glared as Levi approached.

"What do you want?"

"To talk," Levi said softly, "Alone."

Jaxson looked at Levi for a few moments, memories of when Lucas told him that Levi attempted suicide coming back to the forefront of his mind. Memories of Levi crying in his arms quickly followed after. He felt guilty for what Levi did then, he felt guilty for the attempt. After all the time they spent together, and what Jaxson did, he at least owed this to Levi. "Alright, fine. Lead the way."

Levi looked shocked, he was expecting to be turned down cold. However, he began walking off to somewhere private they could talk. Jaxson followed silently as Levi led him out to the back of the school. No one really went back there, even Jaxson knew that, so the two would be alone to talk.

"So what is it Fishy?" Jaxson asked, "What do you want to talk about?"

Levi stared down at his feet, he could feel his lip tremble, he's wanted to say this for so long. "I'm sorry Jaxson."

Jaxson stumbled some, "What?"

"I'm sorry," Levi said, looking up to cast his pale green eyes into emerald ones. "I... I never meant to hurt you. I just... it's what I thought I had to do and-" Tears fell down his face. Jaxson was staring at Levi, in shock. But something changed when he saw his former love cry, something reawakened in him.

"Don't cry Lee," Jaxson said softly, hugging Levi to him. It only made Levi cry harder. Jaxson gently rubbed Levi's back, his nose filling with the scent of the ocean, and his shirt getting soaked by Levi's tears. There was something so comfortingly familiar about it all, about holding Levi. It was how it was meant to be. Jaxson knew this was how it should be, but Levi hurt him. Levi actively ignored everything Jaxson asked, he actively refused Jaxson's help, and he enjoyed the dangerous situations he was in, even after being hurt over and over again. Just forgiving Levi only for it all to happen again was Jaxson's worst nightmare.

"I'll stop," Levi sniffled, "I'll stop it all. I'll stop selling, I'll stop smoking, I won't hurt anyone ever again Jax. Just... please forgive me."

Jaxson could feel his walls crumble. Those were words he had only dreamt of hearing, but here he was, holding Levi as Levi promised to try and get better. "Do you promise?" Jaxson whispered, kissing Levi's head softly. Levi nodded, the nonverbal conformation was enough for Jaxson.

"I promise Jax... please?" Levi said, pulling his face out of Jaxson's chest and looking up at him.

"Alright Lee," Jaxson said softly, "We can try again." Levi started crying all over again and Jaxson pulled him close again. Jaxson felt like crying too, this was something he had wanted since he broke up with Levi, he just never did anything because he couldn't handle fighting Levi to leave the gangs he worked so closely with. Now though, Levi wanted to leave that life now. Jaxson would help him leave, because it's not a fight.