Beastie. HS*

Recap

1994

I find myself in my old living room staring at two familiar bodies in front of me. I watch as if I'm watching a replay on my childhood life.

"Granny why is mommy always sad? " I ask at four while playing at my Granny Maggies feet.

She sighs as she watches me for a few moments before getting up from the couch and sitting next to me. I look up from my dolls as she touches my hair with her warm hands.

"Mommy and Daddy are just not in the right place right now, people who fight do love each other, alot but sometimes things can get confusing if you have been with a person as long as they have."

I sit and stare at my Gran thinking as I frown a bit and my lips pierce.

"Don't they love me anymore, is that why they always angry at each other? " I ask in a husk voice while I put my small hands to my Grannnys soft skin.

"No baby, Mommy and Daddy loves you alot. We all do don't ever forget that. Your my beautiful girl, your our little angel and you bring so much light into our life. " She says as I gaze at her not fully taking in all she said.

She cups my little face before kissing me on my forehead, her touch gentle and mild. I pull away to play with my Barbies and she laughs lightly at my impatience before I hear her say something under her breath.

"Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness my baby girl." She says while caressing my black locks.

I move to the couch still unnoticed as I stare at my amazing Gran as she watches me with so much love and care in her eye's. I sit with my hands in my lap and feel how all the tears start streaming down as I think of her wise words

I wake up lightly sniffing, the room is dark indicating it's not day yet. My chest rising and falling deeply I realize how hot I feel I look down and Harry is draped around my body, his right arm handing over the side of the bed and his other is around my waist.

I try shifting but fail, I panic slightly before taking in deep breathes, I hear a faint groan from deep down his throat and his head moves.

I feel suffocated but yet like that his curled up with me, with my free hand I search for a cold spot on the bed but that fails his legs are radiating so much heat from underneath mine.

After a minute or two of breathing heavily his body sturs and his leg losses and his left arm lifts up to scratch his head, I lick my lips and shift and push him trying to get out and I finally manage to because he falls over to the other side with his arms underneath his body.

I watch him for a while before walking out the room, the house is pitch dark and so quiet except for the light snoring of Harrys if you stand by the door, I head down stairs and run my hand down the staircase while doing so.

I get myself a glass of ice water and stand staring down at the marbel counter while tapping my fingers quietly making a beat, I hum to the song chandelier by Sia before singing silently.

Party girls dont get hurt can feel anything when will I learn I push it down, I push it down. I'm the one for a good time call phones blowing up ringing my door bell I feel the love, feel the love 1,2,3 1,2,3 drink 1,2,3 1,2,3 drink 1,2,3 1,2,3 drink throw them back til I lose count.

I stare into space, Harrys nice and loving but I can't help but miss my mother and Avery more than anything. Avery seemed very upset when she stormed out here, if my contract can't be lowered I'll have no one to be here, that's if Harry would've let her visit when she asked but obviously without anyone knowing, especially Henry.

I shudder when I think of that man, so cruel and ruthless... but losing his wife must've been extremely hard on him it certainly was for Harry. But that doesn't give him any right to kidnap girls and force them into prostitution. .. I'm suddenly angry and feel like smashing his face in.

His the reason your here Dawn, the reason why you having heartbroken dreams and the reason your so sad and dull. Its all his fault your life is like this.

I listen to Betty and without realization I feel a sharp throbbing pain in my hand. I wake up from my trance and look down at the source of pain, there's blood everywhere so much that it reminds me of my dream of Harry and all of a sudden the rage of anger fumes up in me again.

"Dawn, What the fuck!" I hear Harrys voice, the room turns fussy and I feel faint as I feel my legs give in.

__________

"Dad! No dad stop!" I scoll and I hear him laugh.

Im on on his shoulder and his laughing so hard I feel like his going to drop me. Its a hot summer day on the beach and it's our 'dad and daughter' just like every Saturday.

I kick and squeal and I feel him lower me down as soon as I feel the soft sandy sand I push him by his shoulder and he shields himself as he carries on laughing.

I squint my eye's and turn around before stomping and walking away from him.

"Honey, honey c'mon Dawn I'm sorry! " he screams after me I speed up and I feel him speed up too before I sprint but I'm to slow cause I feel him grab me by my arm and pull me to him.

"Dad stop." I say trying to be serious and all angry like but I fail as he tickles me.

"Okay okay OKAY! I forgive you" I say as he picks me up sideways and swings me around.

"You give in so quickly just like your mom, d'you know that?" He says when he sets me down and his arm is around my shoulder.

I stare up at him but his staring in the distance.

"Ohh dad..." I say softly knowing how hard the divorce was on him.

"Its okay baby." He says looking at me with a forced on smile, I smile and he pulls me in tighter as he kisses my hair.

" y'now I love you dad right? " I ask after a few seconds of walking on the sand and listening to the seagulls.

"Of course I do, your my baby." He says and I put my left arm around his waist hugging him.

"Lets go to Frankeys, I heard they have the most AMAZING sundaes and banana split." He says and I giggle as we walk off into the sunlight knowing I'm his only little daughter and will forever be.