Stay - Taylor Swift

Chapter 41

Ladies, gentlemen and members of the Itty Bitty Pretty Kitty Committee, I present you with the only chapter I've cried while writing. Enjoy!

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"W-what?" Taylor choked out, the words falling from her cracked lips as she looked directly into Grace's eyes. It was then she noticed just how broken they truly were.

"I'm done fighting, I'm done proving to you that I'm worth it. I'm done convincing you I'm here for you. I'm done spending half of my sessions with Kate telling her about how much I love you but how you only seem to reciprocate it in sex and soft words when you feel like it. I'm done watching you try and scare me away. I can't talk to you when you're like this, Taylor. I'm done, if you want me to leave I'll get a hotel room, but I'm done, I'm not doing this with you again."

"Please don't go, Grace," the singer's vision blurred as she sobbed, standing in the hallway begging for Grace not to leave her.

"Don't you see that I don't want to? You're a fucking drug! I'm so addicted to your touch on my skin that I would do anything to have the old you back! I thought this was healthy but honestly, Taylor, honestly, I hate what you've done to me recently. I don't want to feel this way, tiptoeing around our apartment so I don't disturb the lion hiding next to the piano! I gave up my job as a personal trainer to look better in the media for you and then I gave that up too. Guess what? It sucks, I'm exhausted! I'm so tired, baby, I just want you to pull me close and tell me it's going to be alright, kiss my neck like you used to, bring me coffee in bed. Even if you told me you loved me before we went to sleep I would be over the moon!" Grace cried back.

The brunette stepped away from the door and walked over the the bed, sitting on it and facing where Taylor stood, "I want you back. I don't want this Taylor, I want my Taylor. If you can't dig down and find her, I'm going to leave. I can't do this, you've done it. You've pushed me away."

"Did I ask you to do that? Give up everything for me? I don't remember doing that, I remember sitting on FaceTime with you in the middle of the night while you brushed your teeth in London just so I could see you. I remember telling you that whatever you did, I would support you. I remember asking if you were sure about it, but I don't remember asking you to give up everything for me," Taylor replied sharply, turning the argument against Grace as if that was the only thing she had caught from Grace's words.

Grace didn't say anything, not daring to move her eyes towards the singer who had begun to burn a hole in the carpet of the bedroom with her pacing. She collected her thoughts before speaking.

"Do you remember when I- when I flew to New York to see you after that fight on the phone? I almost died in that car accident and you sung to me in the hospital, giving me some of your breakfast even though I felt sick and then taking me home and helping me change because I was in so much pain I could barely move," Grace said to Taylor who stopped pacing for a moment.

Taylor nodded, sniffling through a choked back sob.

"I told you that night that I was willing to risk the pain you might cause if you put your arms around me. Let me tell you, it hurt like a bitch okay? But I didn't stop you, I held my breath and bit down on my tongue until I got used to it because I couldn't sleep without your arms around me. That's what our relationship is right now, Taylor."

"I get what you're trying to tell me. How it's so fucking awful but you can't walk away because you need it. I get it."

"We can work through this or I can move out in the morning. It's your choice, I'm willing to work it out if you promise to try, 'cause darling I know you're hurting but you can't take it out on me. It's not fair to either of us to bring work stuff into the bedroom and this isn't even our bedroom," Grace said with a small laugh at the ridiculousness of it all.