영원히 - 𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣| ℕ𝕠ℝ𝕖𝕟𝕄𝕚𝕟

십삼 - 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕣𝕥𝕖𝕖𝕟

I'm gonna tell him.

When I got to the shelf in the corner, I browsed through, hoping something would catch my eye before a certain someone could talk to me.

I haven't been able to look at him since this morning. I don't know why I did it, he's never asked before. When I'd stepped up and given him that kiss I felt it in my heart. I felt the feeling. The feeling you get when all is right, when it's natural. The feeling of finding the Mark to your Donghyuck.

As my hands travelled over the spines of other people's thoughts, a name caught my eyes. Given...

Jeno tapped me on the shoulder when he reached me. Turning around, I saw him standing there with a similar book, Volume Two. "You know, you haven't looked at me all day..." He trailed off.

"How am I gonna stay the night if we can't even make eye contact?"

"Then I'll look at you now." I said, staring him down. My heartbeat quickened as our eyes locked. His eyes wavered, but he walked steadily closer and my breath hitched.

"I have something to tell you later," He said, walking off.

Giving him a nod, I decided to read the book in my hand.

🌼🍯🌼

Jeno and I took the bus home since his mom dropped him off this morning. Talking all through the ride, the older seemed to have something on his mind, often trailing off of sentences and just staring.

I didn't necessarily mind the staring, but when you're trying to hide your crush and you're alone with said crush it's harder than you'd think. When he starts staring I start staring, and we get locked into a silence that's just as beautiful as it is jarring.

The walk was quieter. We held hands like we did in primary school –as if the world wouldn't say anything. In my eyes, we seemed like a couple of teenagers, holding onto love like it was all they needed.

A sad thought came to my mind halfway home. We often fall out of love for the same reason we fall in it. I didn't want to fall out of love with Jeno because of his kindness and innocence. I didn't want to fall out of love with Renjun because of his blunt yet caring attitude.

I didn't want someone to fall out of love with me because of something they used to look forward to. Because I didn't change; I didn't grow.

"How do you keep love alive?" I wondered out loud.

"Hm?"

"How would you –or do you– keep love alive?" I repeated. The other still seemed confused, but I could see the thoughts churning in his head.

"How would you stay in love with someone? Like, if you fell in love because of their passion –their resilience– wouldn't it eventually become stubbornness and not being willing to compromise?

"Wouldn't you fall out of love if someone wasn't growing with you, but around you?"

For another minute or so, it was quiet. We had stopped walking, just standing at the end of my street. No one else lives this far from school, the road was bare of any other person.

"I'd find a way to keep it going."

I was confused, how would you keep something going if you stopped?