twenty-four

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huang renjun
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i stared at the girl standing in front of me.

"move , seri. you're blocking my way." i said in a cold tone.

"renjun please , i want to talk with you." she begged.

"whatever you're going to say , i'm not interested."

"renjun , please." she grabbed my wrist.

"stop, seri. i don't want to hurt a girl." i glared at her.

"i love you , renjun. i'm sorry." she said.

i frowned at her sentence.

"what are you talking about? stop this nonsense." i said as i slowly pulled my hand and walked away.

"let me explain , renjun. listen to me." she said again. i halted.

"you have nothing to explain , seri. you left me. what else i need to hear?" i said as i continue to walk.

i sighed. why this is happening to me?

i entered my class. i massaged my temple after i sat on my seat.

"what's wrong with you?" haechan asked. i slowly looked up to him.

"seri is back , she's here."

"seri as in , your first love?" he asked.

i nodded.

"did you guys talk?" he asked and i nodded again.

"hm , i might be insensitive but , do you still love her?" he asked , i slowly turned my head to him.

"if i know , i wouldn't suffer till this day." i said as i out my head on my table.

"you still in love , i see." he stated.

"why do you put it that way?" i asked as i raised my eyebrows.

"if you've move on , you won't suffer. tell me , is she the reason you played with people heart?" he asked as he stared at me.

i avoided eye contact , giving him silence instead of answering.

"i'm asking you , renjun." he said as he raised his eyebrows.

"you can put it that way." i answered as i took a book from my backpack.

"you never open up to us , what exactly happened , renjun?" he asked , i can tell that he's concerned from his tone.

"i'll tell you later. it's painful." i said , staring at my book.

"alright , you can tell when there's everyone." he said and he continue to do his stuff.

|||

i slowly walk to the music room with haechan.

"oh you guys are late." chenle said as we entered.

"our class ended late." haechan answered.

we took a seat on the vacant couch.

"renjun , you looked so down. what's wrong?" jeno asked.

i slowly looked up.

"seri is back." haechan said and i hummed.

"she's here? in this school?" jaemin asked and i nodded.

"tell us , renjun. the part that we didn't know." haechan said as he slowly looked at me.

i sighed as i looked down.

"are you curious about it?"

"we must know it." jeno said.

"you know it , we broke up. what else you need to know?" i said as i averted my gaze looking at somewhere else.

"stop avoiding the question , renjun. you never tell us what exactly happened when you guys broke up , the reason. and why you changed. only jisung know about that. you never tell us , are we even friends?!" haechan said as he start to shout.

i trailed my eyes to see jeno and jaemin standing , being quiet. i slowly stared at haechan who is standing in front of me. then , i slowly looked at jisung and chenle sitting on another seat , looking at me.

"he's asking you , hyung. answer him." chenle said as our eyes locked.

i sighed.

"yes , right. she was my reason why i started to play with people heart."

i can hear haechan sighed.

"why? what did she do to you?" he asked.

"she left me , without reason , she said. it doesn't make sense , so i start to doubt her sincerity. if she had no reason to break up with me , does she even love me from the start?"

"it doesn't give you rights to play with people..-"

"i know , jaemin. i know. i was indeed foolish and selfish. i admit that."

"so, when you guys talked , what did she say?" haechan asked.

"you guys talked?" jeno asked and i nodded.

"she said she still love me. such a nonsense." i said as i shook my head.

"there must be a reason why she did that." jaemin said.

"reason? what reason? she left me , jaemin. without explanation." i said as i looked at jaemin in disbelief.

"i think you should talk to her nicely. listen what she need to say." jeno said.

"which side are you siding?"

"there's no side , renjun. you're not giving her any chance." jeno said.

"you're not in my place , jeno. you don't know how hurt it was."

"renjun hyung is kinda right.." jisung said.

"you know what worse? despite of knowing how traumatized i am with rain , she left me on a rainy day. i was unable to move , being too scared. thank god jisung was there. he helped me. i just moved on , i don't want her to make me confuse again." i said as i slowly looked down to my hands.

"you're complicated." jaemin said.

"i'm scared to face her , i'm afraid if i fall for her again." i said and tears slowly fall from my eyes.

"hey , are you crying?" haechan asked as he held my shoulder , he observed my face.

"why are you crying? don't cry! this is not you!" haechan said.

"so you actually have this side of you." jaemin said.

"is it time to say that?" jeno asked as he glared at jaemin.

i wiped my tears and cleared my throat.

"i'm sorry , i can't handle it." i said as i trailed my eyes to them , one by one.

"i'll go first." i said as i stand up.

"huang renjun."

i slowly looked at haechan as he called for my name.

"don't this again. you can tell us everything , that's why we are here. we are your friends. don't ever forget that." he said. my corner of my lips slowly went up.

"thank you." i said before i left.

as i walked while looking down , i saw someone's shoes. i looked up. i frowned as i saw the face.

"stop bothering me, can you?" i asked.

"listen to me , please."

"what else i need to hear , seri? nothing." i said as i looked at somewhere else.

"you don't want to hear it? the reason i left?"

silence.

"you can say you don't want to hear it , i'll still say it to you."

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