forty-seven

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kim suyeon
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"doyoung listen to me!" i shouted as i grabbed his wrist.

"what else , suyeon? i have nothing to say." he asked as he faced me.

"who exactly renjun is? why dad acted like that..just why?" i asked , totally can't understand the situation.

"we'll talk later." he said as he walked to his room.

i grabbed his wrist again.

"why is it so hard for you to say , doyoung?" i asked.

"do you really want to know?" he raised his voice , i stepped back.

"of course i do , i won't ask if i don't." i told him as i slowly let his wrist go.

i could hear he sighing.

"it will hurt you , would it be okay?" he asked.

"i'm ready , just tell me everything that i need to know." i said as i stared at him.

"when we were little , do you remember that one time dad always come back home drunk?"

"i remember."

"do you perhaps know why he did that?"

"because our company underwent bankruptcy?"

"right."

"so , why this thing has to do with..-"

"do you know what caused that?" he asked.

"don't tell me..-"

"whoever in your mind now , yes. renjun's family."

i looked down , can't believe what i had heard.

"choice in your hand , suyeon. are you on our dad's side , who's been struggling or renjun." he said as he walked into his room.

"what on earth..?"

i walked to my room with a mixed feelings.

i woke up the next day feeling gloomy. it's not a school day , but i don't want to stay home today. i want to go out.

"where are you going? what about breakfast?" doyoung asked.

"i'll take care of it." i said coldly as i walked away.

"why are you being mad at me?" he asked.

i turned around.

"i'm not being mad at you , i'm thinking." i told him and finally walked out from the house.

as i left , i regretted my decision immediately. where am i suppose to go , in the morning? it's not like i can barge into yangyang's house. with a heavy steps , i walked to a park.

i took a seat on an empty bench. i keep replaying yesterday's scene. my dad was overreacting , i must say. however the way renjun smiled bitterly yesterday bothers me. does he already know about this?

the difficult thing to accept is , we love each other but we can't do that. it hurts me knowing my dad hates him. not to mention , probably his family hate me as well.

is this what doyoung meant when he said i'll hurt myself?

as i fell into deep thoughts , my stomach decided to interrupt the moment. maybe i do too much thinking.

i checked my pocket just to see that i don't bring my purse with me. well done , suyeon. incredible.

i sighed as i walked away , not knowing where i want to go. i actually received a lot of miscalls from yangyang since yesterday considering he might noticed my weird behavior at the event last night.

"suyeon!" i looked up.

speaking of the devil , it's yangyang.

"hi." i greeted.

"why are you avoiding my calls? and why did you left early in the morning?" he asked as he looked at me worriedly.

"how did you know?"

"doyoung told me , of course."

"sorry that i avoided your call , i just don't to talk with anyone." i told him as i looked down.

"understandable. but now , you have no choice. you need to talk with me. i need to know what happened."

"i don't want to talk , yang. i'm hungry." i said.

"okay nice , grandma made some porridge that you like. let's talk over the food." he said as he pulled me.

i'm not in mood to act aggressive either , so i let him.

i greeted his grandmother. and she served us the food.

"i'm so glad that you came , suyeon. i made it a little bit too much for two of us. please enjoy is okay?" she said as she smiled.

"thank you mrs. liu. i'll enjoy this." i told her and she left.

i slowly looked at yangyang who is staring at me.

"what are you looking at , eat that." i said.

"this is my second bowl , i've ate this morning. you need to eat and i need to listen."

i grabbed the spoon as i started to dig in.

"i don't know where to start , yang. it's all ridiculous."

"so at least tell me why did your dad acted like that yesterday. mr kim isn't someone would do that."

"you saw it?" i asked.

he nodded.

"apparently he knows renjun. renjun is the son of someone he hates." i told him.

"seriously?"

i nodded slowly.

"someone that once ruined our family's business."

he could feel he's staring at me.

"it's a dead end , yang. i don't know what to do. doyoung asked me to choose , but it's not possible."

"true , it's ridiculous." yangyang said.

"it's all past , why they still living in the past?" i asked.

"yeon , you probably think like that but maybe not your dad. his career must have been so important to him that's why he can't forget and maybe what renjun's family did is unforgivable to him. so it's possible for him to hate on renjun's family."

"i get that , but renjun is renjun , isn't it?"

he couldn't reply. it took awhile before he say something.

"you're right. renjun that i knew isn't a bad guy." he said as he stared at me.

"that's why , i'm so torn apart. i don't want to see my father hating on renjun." i sighed.

"i guess you need to talk with renjun as well to figure things out. talking with me won't make any difference." he said.

"is it possible for me to face him?" i asked as i stared at my bowl.

"what's stopping you? what are you afraid of , yeon? as you said earlier , renjun is renjun. who is his family doesn't matter. you love him because he's renjun. not because his family , right? now do your thing. talk to him tomorrow. there's no use of backing back off." he assured.

"i understand. i'll do that. thanks yang." i told him and he smiled.

it will work well , right?

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