Falling For The BAD GUY

Chapter 31- no love

October 1, 2001

MARSHALL's POV:

It's 6am, I sit next to the guest room as I can't seem to sleep. All I can think about is what happened last night. I don't think I was 100% guilty cause she was so fucking stubborn and wanted to do it so I needed to find a way to show her that she's still not ready. She wouldn't listen man. She pick up a fight for nothing. now I'm afraid she's gon leave me cause when Im with a bitch I'm attached to her man I can't just let her walk away. It ain't gon happen I won't let her. She got way too deep in my heart...she just met hailie goddamn it! And I was going to ask her if she wanna move in man.. I know I'm going too fucking fast but like I said when I'm with a bitch I'm attached to her and after she lived here for practically 2 weeks it's just more comfortable you know I got used to her being here. But shit I know she ain't gon stick around. After what I did...no way. I know her way too good to know she ain't gon stay. My thoughts are cut off by the door getting open. I look up at her and she's still naked. She walk pass me like I wasn't even there. I got up and walked after her

"Naomi wait" I said but she just kept on walking and ignoring me "Naomi let's talk about this shit" she just walked into my room and then the closet she grabbed her stuff and got out of the closet. She was going so fast I just wanted to stop her for a second and talk to her so I grabbed her hand "Naomi plea-" before I got to say the rest she yanked her hand off and turned around. That's when I saw he puffed eyes

"Don't you fucking dare touch me" she looked at me with disgust reading all over her face. "What the fuck do you wanna talk about marshall? What?! How can you possibly think you can make up for what you did last night??"

"If you'll just let me ex-"

"No marshall I won't let you fucking explain!" She raised her voice and started getting dressed

"Naomi you didn't stop saying that you're fucking ready! You were so fucking stubborn! How can I be the bad guy in all this shit" I raised my voice too

"How?! Yeah I said I was ready. Cause I was ready in my own way I wanted to take it slow so I could open up and get used to it! But you just raped me marshall! You fucking raped me!" She yelled and the tears came out of her eyes none stop. Rape?! I didn't rape her!

"I didn't fucking rape you!! How can you say something like this?!" I yelled with a frown

"When you fuck someone without their will marshall it's rape." She said and throw her clothes on the bed. Fuck. Did I actually rape her? "And the worst part is that you enjoyed it! you enjoyed watching me weak and out of control! you enjoyed hearing my screams and begs for you to stop!" She started crying even harder "don't you realize how fucked up you are!?"

"Yeah I fucking know Naomi! I'm a fucked up person! But I needed to show you that you're not ready you wouldn't listen! I did this cause I love you man" I lower my voice a little

"Love?? Do you call this love?! I call this abuse not love! I don't know how was your relationship with Kim marshall but this is NOT love. This is far from being love! and I'm far from feeling loved! I feel weak. I feel horrible" she said through the tears and that breaks my heart "you weren't any better than James last night" she said. That shit right there felt like a knife stabbed in my heart 100 times. She finished dressing and grabbed her stuff

"Are you leaving?" I asked her and I'm hoping she'll say no

"Yess marshall! Would you really think I'm
Gonna stay?! After all I've been through and after I started getting over the whole thing with James the person that I love and the person I would do anything for did what I've been fighting to forget and let go! I can't stay around you marshall I can't even bare looking at you right now." She said and broke down. I feel guilty as shit right now. I just want to rewind last night and delete what happened! Fuck!.. she walked out of the room and I heard her walking down the stairs. No there's no way she's leaving! I ran after her and she was already near the door. I grabbed her shoulder I was trying to bring her for a huge but she slapped me in the face. I know I deserve it but i ticked off. I took her hands and pushed her to the wall