Falling For The BAD GUY

Chapter 62- calm down

July 15, 2005

NAOMI's POV:

I just lay in bed...with him on me. Sleeping. I don't know how i feel about all Of this. He's looking lost. Like he's not sure of what to do but yet...he doesn't want me to go. I just brush his short blond hair and look at him. How did we got to this point where we both cry from the fact that love is not enough? How did we get to the point that we are so damaged from each other but can't help but cry from fear of losing what we have? How did we get to the point that we are not happy anymore? And where are we taking it from here? Are we trying to fix this? Are we taking a break?
All I know is that I love him. I love him with all of my heart. And I'll always love him. But I'm afraid of keeping this going. One part of me says 'get up and leave' but the other says 'stay and fix this'. I don't know what to do anymore. He's been doing nothing but hurt me for these past 2 months. How can I get pass that? Where are we picking up from? I really don't know and I'm overthinking this, and I should overthink this cause I need to know what's right for me. Marshall started to move on my chest and when he relaxed his face was tilted up so I saw his face. His beautiful face. God how can I leave this man? How can I leave this gorgeous man? I just stroked his face softly and fight the tears. He thrusted his head to my hand and got a hold of it and hugged it. This for itself was breaking me. I now how much he loves me. I know how much he adores and look up to me. But it's not enough. It will never be enough if he won't meet me halfway. I can't hold the both of us! ...
He's so damaged. And I am too but the difference is that I'm Strong enough to hold on to him. He's just letting go and won't even try to get a hold of me. Only when I wanna leave it's like he's coming back to reality and beg me not to go. He said he need me. He needed my help. I'm the only one right now that is here for him as far as giving this type of love. And I know I mean the world to this guy. And I'm afraid of breaking him all over. Even tho he's the one doing it to me..I'm afraid if I'll leave I'd break him to pieces.

"Naomi" marshall suddenly said in his sleep as he cuddled more to me

"What marshall?" I asked him and got up to my neck and laid there

"Naomi I love you" he said and I smiled and hugged him as I kissed his neck. I just traced my nails on his back up and down and suddenly he rose up and opened his eyes and he looked funny so I tried to hold back my giggle

"Hey" I said and he frowned at me and looked down and just laid back on me

"Hi" he said and kissed my boob and I giggled

"How did you sleep?" I asked him as he laid his head in my tits but looked at me

"Good" he said and I smiled and nodded "how long was I asleep?" He asked

"2 hours" I said and he frowned

"Damn" he said and I started brushing his hair again

"You can still go to the club you know" I said and he fully looked up at me and frowned

"You don't want me here?" He asked offended and sad and I stroked his cheek

"You really asking me if I prefer you being in a club with a bunch of girls over you staying with me?" I asked him and he sighed

"Well..do you wanna go?" He asked me and I shock my head

"The last thing I wanna do is to get drunk right now" I said and he nodded

"Then I'm staying with you" he said and I smiled

"If you really wanna go I won't be mad marshall" I said

"Are you kicking me out or something?" He asked and I chuckled

"Shut the fuck up" I said and he looked at me as I laughed and it was a look I don't think I ever saw him giving me so I blushed "what?" I asked him and looked Down and he stroked down my cheek