Let Me Be Your Hero (Yato x OC)} Noragami fanfiction

Chapter 31 - Idiot...

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I held a scissor in my hand, slowly cutting my hair.

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I watched as the hair slowly fell on the floor.

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In the japanese tradition, it says that when you cut your hair, you leave the old memories behind and prepare for new ones.

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I somehow doubt that I will be able to do that...

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I looked into the mirror. "Done!" I smiled. My hair was okay for now. But the rest...? My skin was pale as snow. My eyes were red and swollen. I had dark bags under my eyes and my lips looked dry. I sighed and glanced at the staple of books which were placed in my desk.

More than one week has passed. Nearly another one was left. To be correct, only four days. My condition has gotten worse. My fever has gone up really high at times and sometimes I lost consciousness. Sure, that doesn't sound that bad but... It's really bad when I loose consciousness. Sometimes... I would just lay there. I am not able to open my eyes or move anything. I can't say anything. But I am there. Mentally. I hear what happens around me, but am not able to react to it. It gives me the feeling as if I am lost. Lost somewhere in the nowhere.

I looked back at the mirror. Why I was cutting my hair? Well. Not only because of that japanese tradition. But also because I want to go out. Not like on a date... I just want to catch some fresh air, since I have spent more than 14 days in my room... I cut them, because I didn't want anyone to know who I am, since I said that I would move. Sure it is stupid for me, wanting to go out, even though my condition is really unstable. But I want to go out. I want to see people. Happy people... If I stay here, I'll just end up drowning in self-pity.

I stood up, heading to the desk and grabbed a book.

I haven't read his notes for the past 6 days...

I opened it. As soon as I read the text, my chest hurt.

"You look so beat up. Don't worry... You should be happy. Smile...!"

I held back tears, while slowly going through all of them.

"You aren't going to school anymore. Hiyori and Yukine said that they worry about you... I hope you're okay..."

"I'm sorry. I know I already have said this so often, but... I'm sorry..."

"You're starting to get paler and paler. Are you okay? I hope it's not what I think it is..."

"I know that you aren't reading this notes anymore. But... I still want you to know that I will continue with writing them."

Finally a tear made it out of my eye, and slowly rolled down my cheek, as I read the last note.

"I just want you to be happy."

I hurridly closed it, and wanted to go to my wardrobe to pick out some clothes. But it was stupid of me, hurrying up. After all I was unstable. And like that, I ended up, falling. I layed on the floor for a while. More tears came. "Idiot." I turned around, facing the ceiling. "Idiot. Idiot. Idiot." I placed my hands on my eyes. "You're such an idiot..." My voice trembeled. I didn't even try to sit up.

"How are you supposed to make me happy, if not even I know what makes me happy...? Idiot..."

[Author's Note]

Uh. This chapter kinda sucked. I just wrote a piece of crap ._. I actually just wanted to show with this chapter how Akira's condition is getting worse... So... Yeah... Sorry... But the next chapter will be better, I promise!! ;--;

And EHRMAHGAHWD tomorrow's christmas!! *heavy breathing* I WANT MAH PRESEEENNTTSSS!!!!