1985 (h.s.)

Chapter Forty Eight

Elaine

"Wait," I paused, "Who did you say was coming to interview me?" I asked Dr.Ashley. He had pulled me aside during class to talk to me about a student from the college coming to interview me for a journalism piece about the school's writing program. 

He said he chose me because I was top in the literature department. That came as a surprise because though I love writing, I felt like there was nothing special or out of the ordinary about mine. I guess I was wrong. It was an honor to be chosen. 

"Gemma Styles. She's one of the only journalism students at the college. Her professor sent me a letter. Are you up to it?" Gemma was coming to interview me? Like Harry's Gemma? Who else would have the last name Styles? She went to that school AND was a journalist. I suddenly became giddy. If I talked to Gemma, I could ask her how Harry is doing, assuming that she'd know. I hoped that he was doing okay, better than I had been at least. 

I was finally accepting the fact that Harry left without telling me. Some things were left to be unknown and this must be one of them. I still cared about him. He was the one who taught me how to truly love. I have to give him credit for that. I could ultimately receive closure from that aspect of my life. 

Closure with my dad had already been done. His killer was put away, well, permanently put away. He'd always be remembered. As for my aunt and uncle, I imagined with time and thought I would be able to move past the events they put me through.

"Yeah. That'd be great," I smiled, "I actually think I know Gemma. She's a friend of mine."

"Perfect! She will be here the afternoon of the twenty-fourth. You should be done in time to go to the fall formal if that's your plan. I will hand you a letter with more information tomorrow. If this goes well, you might be able to apply for a full-ride scholarship to that school. It's known for its specialty in writing," Dr. Ashley ushered me back inside the room and sat at his desk, continuing to grade the essays we had to turn in last week. We had pretty much free roam to write what we please, as long as it was one-thousand words. I chose to write an analysis of Prince's Around the World in a Day album. I had to borrow the record from Eleanor since I left all of mine at my aunt and uncles. There was no way I was going back to get them. 

I returned to my seat and thought about the words he had just said. I was eligible for a scholarship. Full ride. How fantastic was that? It was getting better and better. I was getting closure and I might have a scholarship to a good school all within one interview. I was floating; nothing could bring me down. 

Skepticism was common for me; I didn't think there was light at the end of the tunnel. This healing journey has proved me wrong. What it has taught me is how to take care of myself. I couldn't thank Niall enough for the support he's given me. He's raised me higher than I could've ever imagined. 

I also had to thank the other people who are or were in my life. Without them, I wouldn't have gone through this experience. I was still mending my thoughts and gaining knowledge from my mistakes. This process wasn't going to happen overnight. It had happened rather quickly for me. I was never going to forget the circumstances that I had to suffer through. I would never be fully recovered. My demons would still haunt me, but at the end that would help me grow as an individual and even as a writer. 

I often tried to incorporate my own experiences and opinions into pieces that I write. That didn't happen with all of them. Most of the ones I had to write for newspapers had to maintain a neutral status. Unbiased writing was hard for me due to my strong feelings about many events. 

As I've thought through things, I've realized that sharing my story might help others going through similar situations. That's what I'm doing my senior thesis on. I'm mainly going to focus on how I coped. I know my methods weren't very healthy. Sharing them and how I overcame some of them might get the word out to other folks struggling.