Accepted [Billie Eilish AU] [✅Completed]

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TIME SKIP: 2 MONTHS LATER

AG POV

I dump the bag of things I had on my bed and I graze my fingers over the small bags of cocaine, meth, Xanax, coke and a new edition, fentanyl. Strongest of them all.

I'm not going to take it today, but I'm going to need for tomorrow. I open the pill bottle for the xanax and I pop two in my mouth grabbing my cold water and drinking some. I gather the rest of the things in my cabinet.

Hidden.

I decide to take my phone out and call Billie but...

'The person you are trying to reach is unavailable, please leave a message at 213-266-2837 after the tone.' I hear for the 500th time causing me to let out a loud sigh.

She hasn’t been answering my calls at all. It makes sense but damn do I miss her voice. Even if she doesn’t forgive me, all I want is to hear her voice, my game is tomorrow and Billie has never missed any of my games since we started dating. 

Maybe I should leave a voicemail? No, nobody listens to voicemails, well I know that I don’t listen to them.

But a voicemail is my only option right now, I call her again and of course she doesn’t answer and I wait for the tone the fucking phone was talking about. I hear it and my anxiety kicks in.

"Uh, it’s AG, I’ve called you about a billion times now. It’s not like I don’t know the reason why you’re ignoring me. I honestly don’t know where to even start other than I’m sorry. It will never be enough to pay for the damage I’ve done." I start.

"I know I hurt you but I want to fix it. I miss you and I know it might seem crazy but I mean it. You know I’m not the type to say those words but I want you in my life. I miss waking up next to you, going to sleep next to you, I miss laughing with you, taking dumb pictures with you, cuddling with you, just being with you."

"I loved talking with you for days on end, having the best conversations with you, even if it was a small talk, us cuddling on the couch with your head on my chest, my arm wrapped around you, a blanket on top of us watching movies and you have my sweatshirt on, we were happy but I ruined it."

"I put you in a position that no woman should ever be put in and I can’t tell how sorry I am. Baby, let’s fix this, I can’t lose you. There are no words that can describe how much I adore you, your presence makes me the happiest person in the world, even on my worst days, your smile solves my problems and I want to spend my entire life with you." At this point, I was crying.

"I-i can’t stop thinking about you Billie, you are on my mind 24/7, it’s like I’m addicted to you. No matter how many times you leave me on read or ignore my calls, I find myself still wanting your attention."

"I’ve spent countless nights crying over you because of my guilt that’s inside of me destroys me. I’ve spent days waiting for your contact to pop up on my phone. Even if you were gonna tell me to leave you alone,as long as I knew that you were okay, I was going to be fine."

"I can’t stop trying for this, I want it to work, and this is my problem to fix this time because I am the problem. I shouldn’t have said what I said, I shouldn’t have acted the way I did."

"I have more issues than I can even count. And on my worst days, I just think of you, I’ll go from sad to happy just because of thinking about you. I am so sorry for what I did to you and I realize now how much pain I’ve put on you."

"I tried to leave you alone, trust me I tried to give you space like you wanted but you’re all I want. I know I fucked up in giving you that space but I don’t want to give you space to think about moving on, please don’t tell me you moved on."

"Please tell me you want to fix this too. I hate myself for hurting you, I hate myself for being the reason why you cried yourself to sleep, I hate myself for being the one you fear. I know that I made you scream, cry, and question yourself."

"This is all on me, I am responsible for my actions and so I am the one suffering the consequences that I fucking deserve but please forgive me. I love you so much, You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I don’t know if I’ll see you tomorrow or ever. If I’m not, then goodbye. I will always love you Billie."

I hang up the phone and I wipe my face with my hoodie and I sniffle a little before crying even more. "Anna?" I hear my mom and I hide my face.

"What?" I ask. "Are you crying?" She asks and I wipe my face, shaking my head, and looking at her. "No." I say and she looks at me and fiddles with her fingers.

"You can come in." I tell her and she sits on my bed next to me. "You were crying." She says. "No I wasn't." I lie.

"I know when you're lying. You're my daughter. I literally know everything about you." She says. "Like what?" I challenge her.

"Like... You hate being tickled." She says and I glare at her when she starts reaching for me with her hands. I grab her hands, "Yes, I hate it." I confirm.

She laughs a little and asks, "Why were you crying?"

"Billie. Still not picking up the phone. I regret everything." 

"I know, it will be okay." She tries to comfort me. "It won't be okay, how can I be so sure if she won't even answer the phone?"

"Anna, you have to understand that this isn't some argument, you abused her."

"I know what I did. I feel horrible, I just want to see her face to face."

"She's really supportive of you, isn't she?"

"She used to, now she hates me." I say. "She doesn't hate you. I know that." Mom says.

"How do you know that?"

"When you fall in love, it's hard to hate them right away. Hard to move on, so the both of you are hurting right now."

"You been in love before? That's a shock, that chancla makes you seem heartless." I mutter and she slaps my chest. "Yes, 17 years ago. With your dad, I was 18, but that passed." She says quickly.

"Are you going to go tomorrow?" I ask her. "You think I'm going to miss one of the most important games in your daughter's life. I couldn't care if you're mad at me or not."

"I'm not mad at you anymore." I add and she hugs me tight. "Uh Mama, I can't breathe." I say.

"Lo siento (sorry) , I just really missed you." She cups my face. "Anna, you're eyes are red." She says.

"They are?" I ask. "Yes, what is it?"

"Probably need some sleep." I wave it off. "Well look who I brought?"

"Who?" I ask. Suddenly Lulu walks in and I laugh. "Oh hello my love. I've missed you so much baby." I lay down with her.

"Anna, get some sleep mi amor, you'll need it."

Next chapter's the game? Will Billie show up?

Will the game run smoothly?