Adore You Too [H.S]

14 // Jersey On The Wall

a/n: the song is important 😌

* * *

"I know you said you weren't comfortable talking about it," Harry begins with a clearing of his throat, "but what happened on your seventeenth birthday? I just want to know what I should avoid doing to make your day the best possible."

I let out a sigh. "The thing that happened...isn't something that you would most likely do," I tell him, knowing he didn't even know the half of it. "If it did happen though, it would probably ruin a lot of people's lives." I laugh softly in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Harry takes a seat next to me on the edge of my bed. He places a hand on my knee, and I know it was meant to be a comforting hand.

"You know you can trust me, right?" He asks, even though we both knew the answer was yes. "I understand if this is something you're not comfortable sharing, but I think it may help put things into perspective for me. I don't want to say o-or do anything that may trigger anything or-"

"Harry," I cut off his rambling in a soft voice. It was my turn to place my hand on his leg, hoping he would know it was for the same intentions as his. "If you really must know, I will tell you."

"Really?" He asks, letting out a single breathy laugh.

I take a deep breath as preparation for the feelings I was about to feel as I told Harry the story my family and I did anything to avoid talking about.

"I'm the youngest in my family," I begin, sighing. "I have 3 older siblings...Leo, Eleanor, and Emily. But I had another brother...his name was Michael, but we called him Mikey." Saying his nickname out loud for the first time in years struck my heart, but I knew I should continue. "For my seventeenth birthday, it was also Leo's graduation from college, so my parents decided a trip to Disneyland would be fun. None of us had ever been to California, sad I know, so we were all super excited... Things were going really well and we were all having the time of our lives, that is until we got a phone call saying..." I take in a shaky breath, ready to say it. "We got a call saying that my dad and Mikey got in a car accident. The driver wasn't paying attention, and dad must've turned left too earlier and they...collided basically."

I take a moment to pause. Harry doesn't say anything, or even move. I think he wanted me to continue, but at my own pace.

"Mikey didn't make it. The car was hit on his side, so he died on impact. Dad got hurt pretty badly, but even though he broke a few limbs, he wouldn't talk to anyone once he found out the news about Mikey. He blamed himself for years, and there's a pretty good chance he still does." I felt my eyes brimming with tears. "We had a funeral the moment we got home. All of his friends came, he was pretty popular. He was our high school's star basketball player, even though he was only a sophomore. I remember my sisters and I standing together, all holding each other while my brother held my mom because my dad couldn't in his wheelchair. You'd think going through something that traumatic would've brought us closer together as a family, but I think it isolated them from me in a way.

"For years I felt so...guilty because it happened on my birthday. And two years after it happened, my mom flipped out on me, just because I wanted to go visit Miley's grave on my birthday. This was the one time in my life I've ever heard my mother scream at me."

"What did she say to you?" Harry asks, finally breaking his silence streak.

"She blamed me. She told me it was my fault," I say, my heart clenching at the memory. "Dad and Mikey were going to the store to buy me a birthday cake. So I guess in a way, it kind of was my fault."

"Don't say that." Harry shakes his head, eyebrows furrowed.

"It's hard to not believe something your own mother has told you," I tell him, a tear finally dropping from my eye and down onto my cheek. "Especially when it was something you had been telling yourself for so long prior to."

"It wasn't your fault," he continues to try to persuade me.

"But what if it was?" I ask, looking over at him. "Bad things happen every year on that same day, so what if it was my fault?"

It was. It was most definitely, one hundred percent, my fault.

* * *

I step off the last step of the staircase, holding onto the railing to ensure that I wouldn't break my ankle, given the shoes on my feet. Harry followed me as I walk down the hallway, heading toward the kitchen where I heard dishes clashing. Jess must've been hungry.

"Who the hell are you?" Jess's eyes widen as she spots me entering the room in my...adventurous attire.

"Liliana Mason," I take a bow. "Pleasure to meet you, Jessica Lee."

Her eyebrows furrow. "I'm sorry, let me emphasize...what the hell are you wearing?"

"Styled by Harry Styles...award-winning singer, songwriter, actor, model...most handsome man in the world. You get the gist," I say cheekily. Harry chuckles as he walks past me, taking a seat on a barstool in the kitchen.

"Sure, Harry tells you to wear that outfit and you do it, but when I try it's like telling a kid they can't have more candy." She rolls her eyes, though I knew she was joking. She gives Harry a dirty look playfully.

"What can I say?" Harry joins the conversation. He shrugs, keeping his hands up. "I'm persuasive."

"Oh, I bet you are," Jess says to him with a smirk. I loved to see their friendship growing...it warmed my heart. I had a feeling they would eventually be good friends, but Jess isn't always the most accepting when it comes to inviting new people. She seems to have a hard time letting people into her heart...she constantly had her guard up. But it was understandable, given her past encounters.

"So what are you planning on wearing?" I ask her, desperate to keep a conversation going.

"Wearing to what?" She asks, tearing her eyes from her stare on Harry to look at me.

"Well, it's my birthday..." I begin to say, but immediately trail off. When the blank expression on her face didn't crack into a smile, I look down, realizing she probably wasn't joking.

"I'm totally joking," she chimes, causing my head to snap up. She was now smiling, which I found strange. Jess is the worst at keep secrets and planning surprises, I am almost always able to spot when she's being suspicious. Her acting skills were a blessing for me and a curse for her.

"Oh my god, I can't believe I actually kept a straight face," she says excitedly. Her and Harry high five as I sit there, confused. She giggles as she lets her hand rest back down on the counter. She turns to me, the residue of a smile still apparent on her face. "I'm well aware it's your birthday. Your boyfriend here woke me up to ask me where the waffle iron was because he was set on making you breakfast in bed."

I turn my attention to Harry, who looked flushed as if Jess had just embarrassed him. His eyes stay fixed on the countertop, avoiding eye contact with everyone in the room.

"Oh my god." Jess gasps as if she was just remembering something. "Have you guys heard about Coronavirus?! That shit sounds scary."

"Yeah but it's all the way in China," I say, shrugging, "That little big would have to travel a long ass way to get to us."

"They announced yesterday that there was a case in Thailand, so it actually is outside of China now," she informs me, but I was too phased. I shrug it off once again. "How are you so calm?! What if this turns into like World War Z?!"

"Are you still caught up on all those World War III rumors?" I ask though I wasn't surprised. Jess nods and I let out a scoff. "Drop it, Jess. It's just people on Twitter trying to freak everyone out. And I'm sure the same will go for this whole coronavirus thing."

"You're probably right," she says, but I'm sure she was just trying to convince herself. "No coronavirus for the U.S.!"

"That's the spirit," Harry cheers her on with a smile.

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