Far

twenty-three

I stare at myself in the mirror.

My colourless face, my dark circles, my chapped lips. The girl looking back at me doesn't look like the girl in the pictures taped up on the wall.

How did this happen?

How did I go this far and not once see the signs?

How could I have been so stupid?

-

I checked my phone for the fifth time since I got here. I can't get ahold of Harry even though he practically demanded me that I had to come. There's this feeling of uneasiness inside me. Why would he want me to cone to this stupid frat party if he's not even going to show up?

I walked around and found Lili sitting with Cole in the front living room. When I started walking towards them, people looked and then whispered. Do I have something on my shirt? Is my outfit gross? I want to throw up. I hate this feeling that I'm getting.

When Lili saw me approaching, there was a look in her eyes that scared me. Her green eyes were darker, wider and glossier. What is going on?

She sucked in a breath, "I need to tell you something."

-

Why did he make this life feel like such a dream? Why was he my dream?

What kind of sick game is he playing?  I am so angry.

I grab my keys and storm out the door. God knows where I am heading but I sure as hell hope it's as far away from this godforsaken place as I can possibly get.

The rain hits my face as I step out of the building, I would normally run but today, the rain is going to keep me safe.

-

"You're scaring me." I said to Lili as she took me up to Harry's room.

She unlocked the door and pushed it open.

"Where is he?" I asked the second my eyes scanned the room and realised there's no one in there.

She shut the door behind her.

"I am telling you this because you are my best friend. Not because I want to hurt you. But it would be so wrong of me to know what I know and not tell you."

"Tell me what?" I pressed.

I balled my hands into fists, trying to prepare myself for whatever Lili was about to tell me.

"Cole walked in on Harry yesterday." She started, she was easing into it so she didn't hurt me too fast. I knew that.

"Cole walked in on Harry doing what?"

I held my breath.

-

I don't know where I am. I don't recognise any of these buildings. I don't know how long I have been driving.

Tears are fighting to fall but I'm fighting back. Harry isn't worth crying over, I should have known better.

I keep asking myself how I didn't know, how I couldn't tell something was up. I felt it but I didn't believe it to be true. I just want to scream. I'm so angry at Harry, at myself, at this stupid world.

After everything.. all the times that I told him I trusted him. He still went and broke all of the promises he made me.

Everything was a lie.