The Wandering God

39 Goose Claws In The Snow 2/3

雪泥鴻爪
Xuění hóngzhǎo
Goose claws in the snow.
Traces of past events. The fleeting nature of human life.
*~*~*~*~*~*

Over the next few days, Ao recovered with a speed that made Sanli jealous.

It was only a few days before she was able to be propped up on the furs and pillows of the kang, and few more after that she could use her hands and right arm. The left seemed to heal slower, and Ao kept it splinted in a sling for a full ten days before it could be used as well as her other arm.

Sanli thought it strange, but Ao explained that Yan's seals were purposed not to simply heal, but to keep her alive.

"Why would healing your right arm quicker help keep you alive?" asked Sanli, confused.

Ao smiled. "That is my fighting arm, little prince."

Sanli himself was left drained and weak by the fever, though he tried not to show it. He did his best to keep Ao and himself entertained.

He took to writing poems in the steam of the window to pass the time.

Snow so pale
Paler still
My lover's skin
My fingers walk tracks across it.

He read the characters aloud and Ao laughed. "Enough of your lewd poems. Write me something simple. Something pretty."

Sanli wiped away his most recent poem, and then sat back and thought of the next while waiting for his canvas to cloud over.

Finally, he raised his finger and drew:

A gentle fall of rain
Without it the tree would surely die
The sound of drops falling
Like laughter among the leaves.

"Oh," Ao said quietly to herself, head tilted at an awkward angle so her eyes could trace the dripping letters. "Little prince, won't you read it to me? I have never been much good with zih, and worry I will make mistakes."

Sanli did as she asked.

"That is what I thought it said," said Ao, closing her eyes with a smile. "It is a good poem."

Then she did something that surprised him. Her hand took his. "I am glad you are alright, little prince."

Ao's smile was soft. Yet Sanli felt afraid. She has changed. Why? Is it because of what I said in the cave?

Sanli could vaguely remember, in his fever-burned memories, telling Ao of his past, the most painful parts of it. He remembered her hands, on his chin, on his cheeks, wiping away tears and snot as one had to for a sobbing child. He remembered his voice, broken, asking Ao not to leave him, and Ao, faintly, promising not to go.

I told her of my mother and then cried and begged her to stay with me. No wonder she has changed. She must see me as a child. Pathetic.

Sanli did not know what to say. So he said the simple words that had been on his lips since she had woken. "Ao, I am sorry you had to endure such pain because of me."

"Because of you? Did you bite me?" Ao laughed. "And I told you, when you live as long as I have, pain dulls. It was not so terrible."

Sanli remembered Ao's screams echoing into the night. She is still protecting me. "Sho Sensei said pain such as you felt drives most men mad," he argued.

"Well, little prince," Ao smirked up at him, and even as she lay on the kang beside him, left arm splinted stiff as a tree branch, she somehow managed her terrifying allure. "I am not most men."

*~*~*~*~*~*

The end of the year came and went, marked by little celebration in the cabin. The old year had ended badly. Sanli hoped the new one would bring better fortune, but no one wanted to tempt fate by celebrating prematurely.