The Wandering God

49 Grow Old And Die Without Ever Crossing Paths 3/3

老死不相往來
Lǎo sǐ bù xiāng wǎnglái
Grow old and die without ever meeting.
Live life without ever having had any dealings with each other.

*~*~*~*~*~*

The fox must have spoken to the prince, because Sanli appeared in my room later that day, looking apologetic.

Sanli sat on the edge of my bed, hands nervously folded before him. He had loose white linen clothes on, the kind that Lu had often worn when he had done calligraphy.

Ink was on Sanli's hands and forehead, and I realized that is what he must have been doing.

"Practicing your brush work little prince?" I asked, from where I stretched out on a pile of cushions on the veranda.

"No. Well yes, in a way but... Ao, I am sorry I have been so absent. I have been looking for a way to remove your seals. I want to keep my promise to you before... before you go. But I have yet to figure out a method... I am sorry."

I almost laughed. I wondered why the prince had not been around. Now I realized. He has been locked in his room, searching for something he will never find.

"There is no method, little prince. You cannot remove Yan's seals. Only the Golden Emperor himself or a more powerful magic can do that." I said, lying back on the cushions.

I felt Sanli's frown. "That is not what you said before."

"I didn't say anything before. I simply let you assume it was possible."

Sanli looked angry. "Well why did you let me assume?"

"It was amusing, to see you so intent on something so out of your reach."

Sanli's eyebrows lowered, jaw clenched... then his anger chilled, faded. It reminded me of Kageyama.

"If you never believed in my plan in the first place, why did you agree to it?" Sanli asked coolly. "Why did you follow me to Zhanghai? To the Valley? Why are you still here now Ao?"

Why, indeed? "You were interesting, and I was bored, and in need of distraction. Eternity can be rather dull."

Sanli's lip curled. "Oh? And now? I suppose you have lost interest in me, and that is why you are leaving?"

"I suppose so."

"You are lying."

I said nothing, staring at the eaves of the veranda above me.

"Why have you given up?" Sanli asked.

"It is you who gave up," I said, twisting to look at him. The pillows slid out from under me as I did, and so I stood. "You were the one who first proposed destroying the gods. What did the little nun say to you at the temple that changed your mind so?"

"Do not speak unkindly of Ming Lang," said Sanli sharply. "And my change of heart had nothing to do with her." Sanli looked away. "I just realized it is better to treasure the time we have with the people who are precious to us, rather than waste it chasing after an impossible thing."

I laughed scornfully. "Well then prince, I believe you have your answer as to why I am leaving. I have nothing to give you, and you have nothing to give me. And so I will remove myself from your life. You will have plenty of time to enjoy with your 'precious people'."

Sanli's frown deepened. Then he did something that surprised the both of us.

He strode across the room to me, bent, placed his shoulder by my waist and wrapped his arms around my legs, and then stood, hoisting me over one shoulder.