Why Me?

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Today is a normal day for Class 1-A. The birds were chirping, Aizawa was asleep, and Mineta was getting his ass handed to him. All normal things, just a calm, normal, peaceful day. Until everything went to absolute shit.

Izuku Midoriya was ready to piss himself. Mina had run into the common room screaming while holding up her phone while a video from 'TheZeroHero' was displayed on her phone. Which would be totally normal if it weren't for the fact that HE was TheZeroHero. He had started that channel back when he just started taking dance classes, which was from when he was around 8. The channel really hadn't started to pick up until he was 13 though. That's when he decided that he should start sharing his analysis with the world and several heroes had seen it and decided his tips were useful, so they started posting and sharing them around until he essentially became a celebrity. But jokes on his fans because he deleted all of his old videos when that happened and started wearing a mask in his videos, so he doesn't have to deal with people complimenting his twerking skills in. Or you know get recruited by villains, but by Izuku's standards, the twerking thing is MUCH worse.

Anyway, for obvious reasons, Class 1-A was never informed of Izuku's side job because that's one heck of a conversation to have with a class. Which is why this scenario is disastrous. Mina's phone was displaying a clip from his most recent video which had been a dance video where Izuku had thrown it back like a Cadillac, but the real issue was the laughing figure in the back, a laughing Bakugou Katsuki to be exact. They were on to him. This is usually the part where the badass protagonist changes his name and escapes to New Zealand, but Izuku decided to just glance at Katsuki on the verge of tears. Katsuki shrugged at him. That bitch.

"BAKUGOU! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US YOU KNOW WHO ZERO IS! THIS IS VALUABLE INFORMATION! WHAT ARE THEY LIKE? ARE THEY A BOY OR A GIRL? THEY'RE A GIRL AREN'T THEY? NO MALE COULD BE THAT THICK!" Mina squealed, other members of Class 1-A chiming in with questions.

"Why would I tell you fuckers anything? They don't want you all to know, so you fuckers aren't going to know," Katsuki glared. Mina was having none of it.

"C'mon! Why won't you tell us? It's not like we'll be able to find them," Mina whined grabbing Bakugou's arm. -I need to remember to buy him some extra spicy curry later-Izuku noted.

"You fuckers will annoy the shit out of them every time you see them if I tell you, and if they're annoyed I'll be the one suffering the consequences. They're feisty as hell and I'll be stuck making out with a fucking pillow for a month," Katsuki yelled. -Damn right you will.-

The room fell deathly silent. Everyone just staring at Bakugou. Then hell broke loose yet again. It took Katsuki two seconds too long to realize the magnitude of what he just claimed. Mina squealed at that implication that Bakugou was d a t i n g Zero, Todoroki shot up and went to retrieve his conspiracy bored, Mineta was drooling like a creep, and Izuku just wanted to die.

Todoroki walked down the staircase with his conspiracy board in hand. He took off a few notes on different students being teachers' children and then declared that they WOULD find Zero, "Before we begin, Bakugou, Is there anything else you'd like to share with the class?"

"Oh fuck off!" Katsuki yelled, storming up the stairs (mostly so he could shoot Izuku an apology text and wish him luck).

"Well, that's unfortunate. Let's list off what we know about zero then we can make a list of suspects," Todoroki started.

"Perfect! Well, we know that they must either be really patient or really strong to put up with Katsuk," Mina started off with. -patient doesn't even begin to describe it-

"They're definitely in UA since Katsuki mentioned we'd harass them and it's probably someone in heroics because that's the only people he acknowledges," Hagakure added. -False. Katsuki think the business and support kids are cool-

"They're also probably a girl. That ass is too thick to be male." Jirou added. -Dear God, Why me?-

"Isn't Zero pretty flat-chested?" Kirishima asked.

"They could just be binding they're chest, which would be extra simple granted they always wear a baggy hoodie. Plus their voice is high," Yaoyozuru said. -Or I'm a boy with zero boobies-

"Okay, so all we've got is that their strong, female, and are in the heroics course?" Todoroki asked.

"Yup. That's all we have now, but detective Ashido is on the case!" Mina laughed.

And thus, the first 'Find ZeroTheHero' suspect list was created which included:
Asui Tsuyu
Uraraka Ochako
Jiro Kyouka
Toru Hagakure
Yaoyorozu Momo
Itsuka Kendou
Yui Kodai
Kinoko Kimori
Ibara Shiozaki
Pony Tsutsunori
Setsuna Tokage
Reiko Yanagi
Hatsume Mei (because she did well in the sports festival)
Camie (from Shiketsu. Todoroki said they looked cozy)

Izuku ran up to Katsuki's room to tell him what they decided and the two couldn't fathom how dumb their classmates are. Like seriously they couldn't spot a gay if RuPaul himself backhanded them.

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