everglow (13rw)

Chapter 14

Clay

Have you ever experienced falling asleep because you were too busy replaying a scene in your head. A scene where you could finally differentiate what thr before and after of your life. The exact moment where you fucked up and all you could wish for was a time machine. To bring back time, to bring back the smile on his face, to bring him back beside you.

I waited for Justin to come back. To follow me in my room. I was ready to apologize, I already practiced what I was going to tell him. I waited for minutes. I waited for hours. But the door didnt open. Justin didnt enter our room. Our room. It would always be ours.

Alcohol controlled my body and I just watched and let it. I was pissed and frustrated because I didnt want my parents to know about my problems. I already got it in my bag, I could've fixed it on my own, with Justin's help.

I accidentally poured down my anger on the wrong person, it should had been me. But instead I targetted the only vulnerable person in the room, I threw it all on Justin Foley and knowing him, he probably accepted all of it and believed my words.

As I spewed those words. My world stopped and all I could see was Justin. He was walking away from me, I wanted to scream, beg for him to come back. I wanted to tell him that it was just the alcohol, that he was a part of this family.

No, Justin Foley you were more than that. You were more than a brother to me. You were my other half and I didnt think it was possible to finally find that someone who would complete you as a person and lose them at the same time.

I eventually fell asleep but I woke up feeling like shit. My heart was beating fast, my brain couldnt function, my eyes were sore. I immediately looked at Justin's bed, it was still clean and made. No trace of Justin. I didnt want to go to school but I was still failing my class.

One problem at a time, Clay. But Justin wasnt a problem. Justin was the solution.

I quickly went donwstairs without even showering or brushing my teeth. My expectation was to see Justin, with his contagious smile, eating breakfast with my parents. The reality that slapped me was the only person eating breakfast was my dad, Justin was nowhere to be seen.

"Have you seen Justin?" I almost choked on my own words. My throat felt dry and hoarse. Saying Justin's name out loud felt wrong, like I didnt deserve to say his name.

"He already went to school," My dad didnt sound mad. I could hear empathy in his voice. "Clay, sit down."

I sat down in front of him. I didnt know what to expect from my dad. My dad was a calm person but I guess I crossed the line last night because he became the complete opposite of calm.

"Clay," He said. I couldnt look him in his eyes so I was just staring at his coffee mug. "I just want to apologize because I feel like we failed as your parents. The fact that you decided to keep this from us."

"We're your parents and I want you to know that your mom and I are not mad. We will get you a tutor for those four subjects," My dad suggested. I wasnt expecting this, I deserved to get crucified for keeping all of this from them. "Son, were here for you. We love you, always remember that."

I still couldnt look at my dad. I didnt deserve the mercy he was giving me, I was ruthless last night. I lied to them eventhough they already knew the truth.

"What you said to Justin was out of line," My dad sighed in disappointment. "I know you didnt mean that. But right now? I dont think Justin knows that."

"I talked to him earlier," I could hear my dad sipping on his coffee. "Had to assure him he is a part of this family, not sure if he listened."

"But Justin listens to you. Talk to him." My dad placed the coffee mug back on the table.