everglow (13rw)

Chapter 29

Justin

The nightmares were coming back, they were scarier this time, more realistic. I could feel the tip of my finger slowly grazing the surface, those nightmares could come true and I was terrified.

I was fighting my body to wake up but I couldn't. I was paralyzed but my eyes were wide open, I was watching the scenario, my own self. It was the same nightmare I had been getting when I was in rehab.

The hospital scent was true to life, I could smell the the faint odor of sickness and dead people. I had always hated the smell of hospitals and to be stucked in one felt like a purgatory and hell was a few inch closer waiting for me.

I already knew what was going to happen. My loved ones would appear in front of me one by one, saying our swan songs, our final goodbye.

Jessica Davis was the first to appear. She was sobbing, I couldnt hear what she was saying all I could hear was the sound of her crying. She whispered something in my ear but I didnt get to make out her words, it was inaudible.

Alex Standall was the next to enter the room. He looked pale, his lips were the color of faded pink. He was staring at me with sorrow in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Foley." That was his last words. He sat on the hospital chair near my bed. He glanced at the door, as if he was expecting someone.

Zach Dempsey stopped in front of the door and muttered. "I can't do this." He was about to walk away but Alex grabbed his arm and slowly lead him to my place. Alex told Zach he would be waiting for him outside, that he needed a breath of fresh air.

"Zach." My voice was hoarse and dry. Talking was painful, but I couldnt stop myself, it was a dream after all. The smell of alcohol was reeking from his body, he had been drinking.

"Man," He was standing up, tears falling down from his face, he could no longer hold them back. "You have to fight this."

"I'll be fine, Zach." I gave him a warm smile, smiling made the skin from my face ache. "It's going to be okay."

"I can't lose another friend, Justin." He was referring to Hannah Baker. Maybe this was Hannah's ghost, making me pay the price for what I did to her. The horrible things I did to her.

"It's going to be okay, Zach." I lifted my knuckles, asking for a one last bro fist from Zach. He raised his hand, closed it and slowly bumped it on my fist and then he disappeared.

My mom was the next person to bid her farewell. She looked healthy, sober I assumed. I wanted to tell her how much I loved her, wanted to hug her and tell her I forgive her. She held my hand with her tiny little bony fingers, she placed her lips on my palm. "I'm sorry, Justin."

"I should be the one saying sorry, for abandoning you with Seth." Seth was my mom's abusive boyfriend, I could no longer take it seeing him control my mom, hurt her. I did what any sane child would do, flight.

"You didn't do anything wrong, son." My hand was close to her mouth, I could feel her hot breath hitting my skin. "I failed to be a mother to you, you deserved a better life."

My mom slowly faded away, my vision became blurry and next thing I knew, there were three people inside the room. The Jensen family, the people who took me in and made me a part of their family without second thoughts.

Lanie and Matt were on my bottom part of the hospital bed, their hands were touching my cold stale feet. Lanie was crying on Matt's shoulder, he was comforting her, a husband holding her wife was heartfelt to see.

Clay was beside me. He was holding me tight, his hand was grasping on mine, afraid to let go. He was quiet, he was just holding me and somehow his silence the loudest cry I had heard. His silence was what broke my heart the most.

"Clay," I touched his cheek, he was staring at my hands, frightened to look in my eyes. "Please talk."

He was not talking, his eyes were a combination of sadness and resentment. I wanted him to talk, to hear his voice one last time before I go. I wanted his voice to be the last sound I would hear when I go but Clay was not talking, he was not ready to let me go just yet.

"Clay," I was pleading, I had to hear his voice, it would be my ticket on my way to afterlife. "I want to hear your voice."

He shook his head, refusing to grant my wish. I started sobbing, begging him to talk but he wouldnt open his mouth.

"Clay, please." I cried, I could feel my heartbeat and it was now on its last seconds. Clay's hand was firmed, he was holding on to my arm, tight and it was starting to hurt.

"Justin, wake up." The hospital lights started flickering, I looked around I was now alone. I was starting to panic, I screamed and shouted eventhough my throat felt like it was in flames. "Wake up!"

I opened my eyes and the first person I saw was Clay, he looked frightened. We were in our room, it was just a nightmare but it felt too real. I could still smell the scent of the hospital, it made me want to puke.

"Justin, are you okay?" Clay cupped my face, he wiped the tears from my cheeks. I burried my head on his neck, letting him envelope me in his arms, he was my anchor on times like this.

"I had a nightmare," I said. I held on to Clay, hands were glued on his back. "The same nightmare I used to have when I was in rehab."

"It's not real, okay?" He was rubbing my back, calming me down.

"It felt real, Clay." I whispered. "It felt real this time."

"I wont let it come true okay?" He stopped rubbing my back, he pulled away so that we were facing each other.

"Clay," I breathed out. My fear coming out of my mouth. "I dont want to die."

"You wont, I wont let anything bad happen to you." He was easing my cheeks with his thumb. I believed him. "I promise you, okay?"

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New chapter is up! I read all of your comments guys, huge thank you to all of my readers, commenters, voters and also the silent readers. You guys are the absolute best.

- G