Lost & Found

Chapter 13: After (7)

Author's Note:

Yeah, so they kissed in the last chapter. Glad you liked that. Enjoy!

bobbiejelly

Lost & Found

Meredith Grey isn't the only one who lost her panties the night of the hospital prom. This is the story of when Derek Shepherd finds Addison Montgomery's panties in Meredith's prom dress.

Chapter 13: After (7)

MEREDITH

"Does this have something to do with Addison?" Callie asks me again and I still don't really answer.

I'm flustered though. Really flustered. Actually I'm a total mess.

"It's okay if it is. I won't be mad. I won't judge you," says Callie reassuringly.

"How could you not?" I ask her.

"Why would I?" Says Callie.

I groan before I give her an explanation.

"Addison is my ex-boyfriend's wife for chrissakes. And I had adulterous sex with her right after adulterously screwing her husband. Again. After knowing full well that they're married together. I wrecked her damn life!" I yelp at Callie.

"And?" Asks Callie.

"And I'm a homewrecker! Twice over! In one night!" I exclaim.

"To be fair, that marriage has probably been toast for a while," says Callie wisely.

"Yeah, I guess," I say, because it's true. Addison told me the night of the prom that the good part of their relationship had been long over between her and Derek even before she had cheated on him with Mark. Things hadn't been working out. And they just didn't ever get a divorce," I say, sighing because they still haven't officially gotten a divorce (yet?).

"How did you know, erm, Addison, you, her?" Callie is not sure how or what to ask me about her friend.

"You'll keep this between us right?" I confirm with Callie.

"Of course," Callie offers. I nod and accept her offer because I do need to get this off my chest.

And normally I'd confide in Cristina but she's got trauma with Burke to deal with now and she doesn't know I'm not straight and I don't want to deal with her reaction right now even though I know she'll be supportive of that part anyway.

"Well, see. It's absurd because when I met Derek as the guy in the bar, I thought he was the love of my life. And then his wife walked in and I was so awestruck and intrigued. Addison had on a black coat and her hair was up and she looked like a Japanese model," I begin.

"Didn't she introduce herself as 'Addison Shepherd and you must be the woman who's been screwing my husband, that day?" Asks Callie, who must have heard that story from Addison.

"She did. But I was. So I don't really blame her," I offer.

"I guess you were, albeit by accident at that point," says Callie.

"I remember how Addison looked at me then. She was fierce and enchanting. But she was also vulnerable. Addison had looked at me with sorrow, because she knew her arrival had ended my relationship with Derek as I'd known it to be. Addison looked at me like she saw me, even despite who I was to her and to him. Addison still looked at me," I explain.

"Addison looked at you?" Asks Callie.

"Addison looked me in the eye. Derek couldn't look her in the eye. Or me. Neither of us. After that night it was a whirlwind of me trying to win Derek back and her trying to win Derek back and both of us fighting for a man who was already distant. Addison loved him. I loved him. Who knows who he loved but I'm not sure it was either of us," I say to Callie.

I know now that Derek probably actually loved Mark Sloan his male childhood best friend all along, but I'm not going to reveal any part of that to Callie because I promised Derek I wouldn't.

"I left that night and I started to drink. Well, we all started to drink but then Joe the bartender started dying and so I had to get drunk another day and it's been ages since then and a week since the prom and all I can think about is how Derek and Addison and I used to share a dog named Doc and now our McDog is dead and Addison and Derek's marriage is dead and Derek and my relationship is dead and Addison and my relationship was vetoed to begin with," I finally shriek.

"Wait, Addison turned you down? But when did you ask her out?" Callie asks me, and I back up because I realize she doesn't know what happened to either of us after we'd left the prom.

"Uh-" I stutter because I'm incredibly embarrassed here.

"You don't have to tell me. It might be awkward. I'm sorry if I upset you I shouldn't have asked," Callie softens a little.

"Have you ever liked women?" I ask her to change the topic.

"Um-" and now it's Callie's turn to stutter a little.

"Oh. This is the part where I tell you that you don't have to answer that unless you want to," I offer and Callie nods graciously.

"Look it just hurts. Deep in my bones. In my brain. In my body. In my mind. In my soul. I thought Derek was the love of my life until I kissed Addison. And then I knew that she wasn't and that she was and she told me the same thing. And then she let me go," I say and then I start crying all over again.

I remember the way Addison was crying after the prom and now I'm crying like that and Callie offers me tea and a tissue.

"You love her?" Callie asks me.

"Yeah," I admit finally.

"And she loves you back?" Callie asks me.

"I'm not Addison, I can't answer that," I say with a sigh.

"But did she say she loved you back?" Callie asks me.

I don't want to give her the answer so I just start crying all over again.

"It's okay," Callie sighs and she offers me cookies.

I eat them because I'm glad that it isn't more muffins.

"That's all I said to Addison that whole night. That it's okay. That it was all going to be okay. And I thought it would be. And now I feel like it isn't. And I just want her back even just as a friend," I keep crying and crying.

"How do you know she's the love of your life?" Callie asks me thoughtfully.

"You might laugh when I say this. Because it's a cliche and all. But I swear that it's true," I describe and Callie nods to show that she's listening.

"When I kissed her, when she kissed me back, there was a spark there that I'd never ever felt before. And she felt it, too. She told me and I told her. And it was our spark for just us. Neither of us felt that way with Derek. Both of us thought before that Derek was going to be the love of our lives at some point. And we were both wrong. Because we kissed each other after we'd been kissing him. And it just felt so perfectly right."

****** END OF CHAPTER 13

Author's Note:

Thanks for all the feedback! I will be continuing this for a little while.

Probably everyone wants to know what happened at Meredith's hideout.

So do I, so hopefully, I'll figure that out when it comes to me!

THANK YOU FOR READING!

And see you all in the comments :D.

bobbiejelly

Feel free to check out these while you wait for more of this story:

Falling Apart, Barely Breathing

Soothe

Second Person (The Diary of Addison Montgomery)

See you soon in the comments,

bobbiejelly