she was different.
her blue eyes. her dimpled cheeks. her green and black hair. her tattoos, her nose piercing that glistened in the light. she didn't smile often, but when she did, it was mostly around me. she protected me, she understood me, she l...
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b i l l i e
after kaylani had her panic attack, we baked some cookies, vegan ones for me and we watched halloween and christmas movies.
the rest of the weekend, it was kylie and i and then kaylani and juliana together. kaylani kept her distance from me and i didn't really act surprised because i did make her have a panic attack and i take full fault for that. i should've never tried to kiss her when she didn't even know who i was but just the fact that my name was billie and i was her sister's best friend.
right now, it was 7:20 in the morning and i'm outside waiting for kylie to come outside because she asked me to drive her to school today. they don't really live that far from school and school starts at 8:15 and usually i would like to come pick her up at 7:45 but i don't get why she wants me to come pick her up 25 minutes early.
finally, i see her getting out of the house and of course she's wearing something tight. black ripped jeans with a yellow off shoulder crop top that had long sleeves and it said 'fuck it up buttercup' and she wore black and yellow 1's.
her shoe game was immaculate. better than mine.
"wassup bitch," she greeted me as she got into the passenger seat.
i began driving and she connected her phone to my bluetooth and of course she started playing kehlani in the car. she loved her.
i couldn't help but think about kaylani. i don't know if kylie would be upset with me if i told her the real reason why kaylani had a panic attack. i really liked hanging out with kylie. some people talked shit about her saying she was snobby, and she liked to show off but i think she's really happy that she's fortunate.
but she's different around me. i see the difference between her hanging out with me and then her hanging out with her other weird friends i don't associate myself with.
"kylie?" i spoke up and she hummed in response. "does kaylani only have panic attacks when she's in the dark?"
"no," she responded, putting down the volume of the music in the car. "her panic attacks started happening recently in july,"
"why?"
"that i cannot tell you," she told me and i nodded my head. "she used to be scared of the dark when she was younger but when she got older, it stopped so i got really confused when she had a panic attack because of the darkness in my closet, but it's understandable,"
"that's not why she had a panic attack on friday," i confessed and kylie's head snapped to my direction and i felt my palms getting sweaty. "i..okay, so when we all split up, i ran to your room, i guess that was the first place that came to my mind and i saw the closet so i went in there and she didn't even notice i went in there until i said 'boo' and so when i did, she got scared and i brushed it off and went to go sit down next to her,"
