A Real Storm

Chapter 18: Mew

Gulf went out and explored the lake while I stayed at the cabin arranging the rest of our stuff. The conversation we had while eating keeps replaying in my head.  

He kept on probing about my reasons and I honestly haven't dissected each and every feeling or emotion that has driven me to do this crazy getaway. All I know is, if I let him go, I might never see him again.

I did not intend to talk about my lack of having a girlfriend or a boyfriend ever since, nor my being a virgin but still it came out. 

With the way he reacted when I tried to explain, he must think I'm crazy. Shit!

I looked at the door, Gulf is still not here. It's almost five in the afternoon. I went out to check on him. 

I looked around and saw him sitting on the edge of the dock. I walked to him and sat beside him. 

"Are we good Gulf?" I asked.

He looked at me and smiled, "Of course Mew." Then he turned back to the lake, "I'm just enjoying the lake and the quiet."

"You look like you weren't okay a while ago," I said.

He continued to stare at me shamelessly. He looked at my eyes, my nose, my lips, my neck, "I never imagined you to be a virgin Mew."

"So with all the things that we talked about, that's the one that stuck, huh?" I said looking at the water below us.

"It just caught me off guard Mew, that's all," he said.

I looked at him, he looks ethereal as always. The setting sun gives his skin a luminous look. I looked at him wanting him to understand my next words, "I love control Gulf. Feelings and emotions are things that I can't control, neither would be a girlfriend or a boyfriend for that matter. As for my virginity, I don't think I can detach feelings with sex. So if it finally happens, it means that I finally am willing to let my control slip and let my emotions get the better of me."

Gulf looks at me, then he unconciously opens his mouth and shows his tongue piercing like he usually does when he stares at me. I breathed deeper and looked away. Yup, when my control slips. 

I lied down on the dock and looked at the blue-orange sky. Gulf follows my move. We both looked at the heavens. A few more minutes, it becomes red-orange, then red, then red-black, then we see stars twinkling above. All this while having a light conversation, about childhood, about first puppy loves, about habits and mischievous things when we were kids, just anything and everything below the starry sky. 

Then around an hour after, Gulf turned sideways and propped his head in his hand and looked at me, "So ummmm..."

I looked at his eyes a foot above me, "What is it Gulf?"

"Yeah. So ummmm, what's your type?" He asked.

  I squinted my eyes and looked at him, "We're not over that still?" 

"Well I just want to know you better, that's all." He said defensively.

I smiled. Okay, I'll indulge you Gulf. I looked up the sky again and thought really hard about what I like in a partner. "I think I like someone who can keep me in my toes, excites me but at the same time allows me to take control. Someone who I'd like to cherish always. Someone who assures me that feelings are nothing to be afraid of." 

"What am I to you Mew?" I looked at him. He is very serious. All these questions...

I gazed at his eyes, really looked at him. What are you to me? What are you to me?  "You're my storm Gulf, you stormed into my life without warning and created havoc along the way."

He frowned, "But that's not a good description though. It's like saying I ruined your life."

I smiled, "Depends on whose perspective Gulf, because in mine, that's kind of the opposite."

He is trying to stop his smile. Then he lied on his back again.

"Is that answer good enough for you Gulf?" I asked.

"Hmmmmm, maybe." I hear the smile in his voice.

I smiled too.

--------------------------------

It's almost 10 in the evening. We both are standing at the foot of the bed, silent.

"I don't think I can sleep in the couch Gulf." I said honestly.

"Is it okay if we sleep beside each other Mew?" He asked.

I have never slept with anyone in the same bed my entire life, obviously.

"Is it okay Mew?" Gulf looked at me. He probably saw my hesitancy, bacause his next words are, "Okay, I'll sleep in the couch." Then he got two pillows and attempted to walk to the stairs.

"No, It's okay, let's sleep together." I said. I can't let him be uncomfortable.

The corner of his mouth twitched, "Okay." 

Then he went excitedly to the bed and chose the side closest to the wall. Then he turned to me and extended his hand, "Come on, lie down beside me."

Gulf is really something else. I sighed and lied down at my back. I am looking at the ceiling, trying to find an inspiration to sleep.

Gulf turned to me, "Are you comfortable Mew?" He asked.

"Yes." I said still looking at the ceiling.

"You look tensed. Do you want me to massage you?" He blatantly asked.

I whipped my head to him, "Huh?"

"You know to take off your tension and make you relax. That kind of massage Mew." He clarified.

"No thanks Gulf." I said then I turned my back on him and forced myself to sleep. 

"How about I sing you a lullaby?" Then I feel Gulf's hand touch my shoulder ever so slightly.

"Sleep Gulf, we'll go fishing tomorrow morning." I said. I felt him withdrew his hand.

I finally drifted off to sleep.