Love, Life, Hockey (boyxboy)

Questions and Temptation

I end up falling asleep at the cemetery in front of Hannah's headstone. It's the middle of the night, and my phone is dead. It's a good thing I know how to get home by heart. I tell Hannah I'll come back soon, but I think we both know it might be awhile.

I decide that using my window might be the best way to get into the house, considering I haven't been home all night and didn't tell my parents where I was going. To my surprise, Talon is on my bed, awake and waiting for me.

"Where the hell have you been?"

I glare at him, but I doubt he can see me. "Relax, T. I was just out. I lost track of time."

"You went to go see her, didn't you? You always go see her after a bad game."

"Yeah, I did. What, do you have a problem with that?" My voice is harsh.

"Not at all, H. I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine, really. I can't always have good games, you know."

"I know. I'll see you tomorrow."

After that, he's back in his room, and his blinds are drawn. I don't fall back asleep.

In the morning, I get interrogated by my parents.

"I went to go see Han. That's all. I fell asleep on accident. I'm sorry, it won't happen again."

They seem to believe me, because they stop asking about it.

I contemplate skipping school. I know that I can't, since Talon won't let me. We get coffee on the way to school, and he gets an extra for Kate.

When we get there, nothing is said as we go our separate ways. I don't even walk through the doors of school. Instead, I watch Talon until I can't see him anymore, and I turn on my heels.

Since the town is so small, walking everywhere is easy. I'm glad, since that's my preferred method of transportation these days.

I don't have a destination in mind, but at the same time, I know exactly where I'm headed.

The bridge is quiet, calm, undisturbed. There isn't a car in sight, so I sit next to the cross on the side of the road. It's white, with Hannah's name written in yellow Sharpie. It's my handwriting, since I was the one who put it there. That was when I believed that God could take my pain away. I wish I wasn't as naive back then.

I sit in silence until I feel like I can't breathe. In all honesty, I want to jump in the water and not come back up for air. I feel like I'm suffocating underneath the weight of my life. But, I don't jump. Instead, I cry. The tears just keep coming, and I let them fall.

I scream as loud as I can out of frustration, and the echo carries across the lake. This is one of those moments. This is when I wish it was me. We're getting close to a year, and everything still hurts the same.

I get up, dry my tears, and walk back to school. I get there, and it's lunchtime. My face isn't red and my eyes aren't puffy, so nobody asks questions. I go through the motions the rest of the day, and I can't even tell how I got here, on the ice. Since we won yesterday, practice consists of preparing for our next game in a couple days.

I don't see Talon waiting by his truck. My phone dings. It's Talon. "Is there any way you can find a ride home? Kate asked me to come over."

"Yes, T. Have fun with your girlfriend. I'll talk to you later."

"She's not my girlfriend. Should I ask her?"

"Yes, you should. If you want."

"Okay, I'll let you know how it goes tonight."

"I look forward to it. Bye, T."

The line goes dead, and I start to walk home.

Mom and Dad are there when I get home, and I find out mom picked up Chick-Fil-A for dinner. We don't eat out anywhere except for Benny's often, so this is a nice surprise. We talk about our days and I make up lie after lie about school, but they believe me.

After I'm done eating, I excuse myself to work on homework. Senior year is easy, so it doesn't take much thought. My mind is elsewhere, anyway.

I find myself staring out the window at the sky, absentmindedly waiting for Talon to come home. I feel like a little kid, waiting for some excitement to happen. He pulls in, and immediately climbs up to my window.

"Guess who has a girlfriend? Me. That's who." I can tell that he's proud. I'm proud, too.

"Great job, T. I'm happy for you."

He talks about how he spent his afternoon, and doesn't mention that I wasn't at school half the day, much to my relief.

After a while, he changes into the same sweats and shirt he's been wearing for the last week, and climbs into bed. He doesn't even ask to spend the night anymore, but I don't mind. He falls asleep quickly, but I couldn't sleep if my life depended on it.

A/N: Here's the next little bit for you! I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy.