Love, Life, Hockey (boyxboy)

Secrets of the Past

There's breakfast waiting on the table for me when I walk downstairs the next morning. Talon opted for his own closet, so he went across the way after the alarm went off. I can't shake the feeling of curiosity, and it preoccupies my thoughts until Talon honks.

To my surprise, he hands me back the book he borrowed last week. "You want another?"

He nods, so I give him the one I finished after that night of reading together. He places it in his backseat, vowing to put it in his backpack once we get to school.

I realize I can't help myself. "Why haven't you been sleeping?"

It takes him a couple moments to respond. "I'm not exactly sure. Just— I'm going through some stuff, school is hard, and I'm still upset."

I don't exactly know what he means by stuff, but I press because I get worried. "What stuff?"

"I'm not ready to tell you, yet. Soon, I promise."

That's good enough. I turn up the radio and we sing off key all the way to school.

My friends are still buzzing over my interview, even though it's been a couple of days. The most talked about is the fact that I don't have a girlfriend. Oh, if only they knew the real reason. There's big news, besides my interview. Apparently, Kate had been seeing Caleb in secret, even before Talon was in the picture. I decide to withhold that information for him; it's for the best.

I have a few exams throughout the day, and I feel good about most of them. My math grade is miserable, so I'm considering asking Talon for help. I favor the truck at lunchtime, as has been the case lately. There's a whistle from behind me as I climb in the back, and I'm worried a security guard has caught me. I hear the doors unlock, and let out a sigh of relief.

"Let's go somewhere. We have some catching up to do."

He doesn't have to tell me twice before my seatbelt clicks.

We drive to a burger joint own the edge of town, and settle on milkshakes. After a couple of drinks, Talon breaks the silence. "I know."

I can hear my heartbeat in my ears. "Know what?" Hopefully, my eyes won't give me away.

"You're gay."

I spill my milkshake all over the front of my clothes. I grab as many napkins as I can to clean up. Talon's eyes don't leave me.

I don't say anything. I nod, and begin to sob.

"I can't be. I don't get to be—

"You're still my best friend. Okay?"

I can't talk through my tears. Talon is too patient.

Somehow, I find my voice. "How did you find out?"

"Hannah. She wrote me a note before she passed. Told me not to say anything until you were ready to let me know. I buried it with her, but couldn't keep a secret after I went to see her."

"The flowers?"

He nods. "I talk to her sometimes."

"We could go together, you know."

Talon laughs at my suggestion and takes my hand in his, giving it a squeeze. "I'd like that."

Lunch is long gone by now, so we take our own advice and end up at Hannah's cross. Talon prays, but I stare at the clouds above us. It looks like it might rain.

It does. Talon and I lay on the bridge like that one scene from The Notebook.

"It should have been me." I say in barely above a whisper, but Talon hears me.

"I don't know if I could've handled that."

We share a glance and lay in silence until I check the time and bring us back to reality.

On the way back to school, Talon drives with one hand, and holds mine with the other. It's comforting, and something I need right now. It's been a long day.

Practice feels longer than usual. I'm so out of it I don't realize that everyone has left by the time I sit on the bench. Talon is the only person in the stands.

"You could come down here."

"What makes you think I can skate?"

"I'll teach you."

And so, I do. He gets the hang of it fairly quickly, and pretty soon he's off on his own. I skate circles around him, and we race from line to line a few times.

He's out of breath after a while, so we hang it up.

Once I'm clean and in his passenger seat, I take a deep breath. "Thank you, for today. I didn't want to keep secrets."

He understands. "I know. I get why, though."

That's all the conversation there is on the way home.

A/N: it's been forever, I'm aware.