Love, Life, Hockey (boyxboy)

Help, I'm Cold

I collapse on Talon's bed as soon as I drop my backpack on the floor. I'm exhausted, in more ways than one, and I'm confident Talon can tell. Without protest, he lets me lay there and watch him as he begins typing away on his laptop. I get a little glimpse of his assignment, which looks a little something like advanced chemistry. I remember that I should ask him for help with math.

"I'm struggling in Beckett's class. Barely passing, and I have to play."

The last part gets him to turn around in his chair. "Are you asking for my help?"

"Mhm. If you don't mind, I could use some tutoring."

The way he shuts his laptop lets me know he'll help.

"Homework?"

I grab my backpack and pull my worksheet out of my binder. Talon takes one look and says, "This shouldn't be too hard."

I chuckle. "Says the future statistics major."

He rolls his eyes, and pats the spot next to him at his desk.

We spend the next hour going over the problems, and for the first time this semester, I actually understand the math in front of me.

"You're the best, T."

"I know. Don't you forget it."

I shove him a little too hard, and have to grab him to keep him from falling off his bench.

My hand in on his waist, and I'm certain I've been frozen in time. He looks at me with a glance, and I clear my throat before backing away and leaving as much separation between us as I can.

I finish the worksheet in silence, and the only noise heard coming from his room is his keyboard.

My parents are over for dinner at Talon's house, which means him and I are watching hockey in my living room. It's as if earlier has been long forgotten, because we're on the same couch, inches apart and sharing blankets. Talon's locked in to the action, but I can't shake what unfolded this afternoon.

I'm hoping Talon is too invested in the game to realize I've been staring at him for the last quarter.

"Stop looking at me like that."

Well, there goes that prayer.

My attempt at denial is futile. "I wasn't."

"Okay, yeah. Sure."
I'm about to protest further when he shifts so that he's closer to me.

"It's so cold in here."

Now that I think about it, he's right. It's mid-October, and the temperatures have been dropping for a couple of weeks now. I get up to turn on the heater, but Talon grabs my shirt to keep my in my place.

I see one of my hoodies on the opposite couch, and stretch to grab it, throwing it in Talon's direction. He slips it over his torso and we watch the rest of the game tangled together under blankets. At some point, I doze off.

Flashes of light wake me up, disoriented as ever. Standing there is my parents, and Talon's, gazing at us, backs leaning against a wall.

I make my presence known. "Can we just stay like this until morning? I'll clean up before school."

The first voice I hear belongs to my mom. "Of course, kiddo. Sweet dreams." She presses a kiss to my forehead and walks Talon's parents out the front door.

I glance at the clock and discover that it's just past midnight. That's when I become increasingly aware of Talon sleeping on my chest, and my breath quickens.

It takes me a few moments to control my breathing, but I manage to keep myself under control.

My mind drifts to the future. First, the immediate. There's a game the day after tomorrow, and scouts will be there in full force. After, I realize that I am living in the beginning of the end. The draft is looming over my head every time I step on the ice, and everyone is waiting for me to rise to the occasion.

Life after the draft is the most daunting occasion I've ever known. How can I do this forever? Will I have to keep myself in check around everyone, for the rest of my life? The spotlight? I don't want that. I just want to be happy.

I want to feel the same way I feel around Talon for the rest of my life. That, for me, is happiness.

My mind runs in circles until I yawn into Talon's hair. It's past two when I feel my eyes start to droop.

The alarm scares Talon into almost falling off the couch. My hands are interlocked in the middle of his back, so he doesn't end up going anywhere.

"Morning, Hunter. I have to pee."

I laugh and let him go. He comes back as I'm folding up the blankets and I realize he's dressed. In my clothes, again. I don't think I'll ever get used to that, not that I'm complaining.

He puts everything back in the closet so I can get dressed, which I'm thankful for.

We leave early, with coffee in hand. Mom gives us a proper send off with hugs and kisses, and I can't even begin to describe how much I've missed that.

For once, I feel good about math. We have a pop quiz, but I walk out feeling confident.
Talon is nowhere to be found during lunch, and there's a pit in the bottom of my stomach as I sit in the back alone. I've read through all of my books, including the one Talon read. I don't know if I've ever connected to a character more than Sebastian Brother.

I'm fairly sure the library is open during lunch, so I give it a try. As soon as I walk through the doors, the ladies at the front desk greet me with a smile.

The lady that helped me last time sees me. "Back for more?"

"Yeah! I finished all of the others."

With that, she leaves me to make my selections. All five are teen romances, but three of them fall under the LGBTQ category that's tucked in the back of the library. The shelves are all dusty, so I know I'm the first reader the corner has had in quite some time.

Surprisingly, the lady that helps me check out has nothing to say about my selections. To say I'm shocked is an understatement, but I put the books in my bag and walk to the rink.