Hush, Little Penguin

Fond Memories

Snow Bear enjoyed the feeling of soft, cozy sheets, mixed in with the smells of bedtime. Peso did too.

They were perfect for each other.

Snow Bear had seen it all. He had seen a family, once so happy, falling to pieces, He had seen an innocent child suffer the consequences of it all. He had seen that child crumble to pieces from all the suffering he saw, and he saw that child keep going, so strong, so determined.

Snow Bear was proud to be the reason for that.

Peso told Snow Bear everything. They went everywhere together, even school.

Snow Bear remembered those days when the sun came out, the days when Peso managed to escape outside, free from his family's mercies, and they would play. Peso would hold Snow Bear out with one flipper, and run about, making believe that he was flying. They would lay down and look at clouds together. They went to Wonderland, and Oz and everywhere in between.

Snow Bear remembered how scared Peso was when Inkling had asked him to leave home.

He'd have to leave behind everything he'd ever known.

He'd leave behind all the memories, and start  anew.

He remembered Peso giggling in delight, holding him tight, eyes shining with happiness when the day came for him to leave it all behind, and start a new life. He remembered the way Peso held him at night when he was in a strange place. How Peso would speak to him and play with him and cuddle him when he was lonely, sad or scared. He remembered Peso's warm grip, and happy giggle.

He remembered being right by his side when the Octonauts discovered his greatest secret. He remembered Peso holding him close during that first nap. He remembered the rush of happiness he felt when he was first placed inside Peso's crib.

Snow Bear remembered it all.

He remembered Peso waking up sick in the middle of the night. He remembered offering comfort in times of uncertainty and fear. He remembered the coughing, the sneezing and signs of extreme sickness, Peso's forehead unreasonably warm against his cheek.

All this flashed through his head when he was picked up for the last time.

He remembered watching over the doctor's shoulder, as Peso disappeared into the distance, sleeping soundly, well again at last. Snow Bear was so happy Peso was better.

He remembered the crackling of the fire. He remembered the rush of fear. He remembered the feel of the flames licking him as they got closer, heating his flesh, singeing his fur. He remembered the orange flame covering his line of sight.

He felt no pain. His body became ashes, but he felt no pain.

He thought of Peso.

He would always keep an eye on him.

You could always count on a teddy bear.

Peso lay awake that night.

Woody was in bed next to him with Peck. Peso took in the features of the room. It was all the same, and yet, something felt different. The empty space next to him, the rush of anger he got, looking at Woody, as if this were his fault.

He flopped back down. Yet another sleepless night.

He and Snow Bear had been through everything together. How much more was he going to suffer? What had he done to deserve all this?

He wanted Snow Bear. He wanted his soft fur, not Woody's coarse fabric. He wanted Snow Bear's comforting smell of home and bedtime, not Woody's new toy smell. He wanted Snow Bear's silent comfort.

He loved Woody and Peck, but he missed his best friend.

He curled up into a little ball. Snow Bear probably missed him so much, but would he want Peso to be sad?

Peso turned to Woody again. He specifically remembered Woody talking to  him. It had not been his imagination.

Woody still made him a little upset. Snow Bear disappeared and Woody stepped in. It was almost like a replacement. Nothing could replace Snow Bear, but, it was nice to know they were thinking of him.

You could only really count on toys. That's what Peso learned, hard and simple.

Now, he knew he had others to count on, but for how long? When would they leave him, either for someone else, or to join Snow Bear?

He started to cry. Silent sobs and sniffles. He just wanted to cry alone.

Pretty soon, it escalated, and he was wailing.

Barnacles rushed into the room, and scooped him up. "Peso? What's the matter?" Like he had to ask. He knew Peso missed Snow Bear. And he knew no one could replace him, not with everything they had been through. He sighed, and sat down in the rocking chair, rocking back and forth, and letting Peso cry.

"I-I'm sorry." Barnacles frowned. "What on Earth for? I'm not mad to you."

"I'm mad at Woody, and I miss Snow Bear, even though he was just a toy, and I woke you up and got you fur all wet." Barnacles chuckled. "oh, Peso. Don't be sorry." He gave the little one a kiss.

"Why are you mad at Woody?" Peso shrugged, burrowing into Barnacles' chest. The bear hugged him tight. He knew why. Peso was upset about Snow Bear leaving, and didn't want to replace him. He needed to be mad at someone.

Woody watched the ordeal silently. He knew Peso was upset. But, he could take it if Peso needed to be mad at him for a little while. It was part of loss.

"When are you going to leave me?" Peso sniffled. Barnacles gave him a big kiss. "Never, Peso. I'll always be with you. I promise. On my honor as an Octonaut." Peso nestled against him, and closed his eyes. He just didn't know what to do. Barnacles' expression softened in sympathy, and he wrapped Peso up in a cuddly blanket, and placed him back down in his crib. "Get some sleep, sweetie." He turned on the mobile, and left Peso to rest, hoping Peso would feel better in the morning.

Peso faced the window, watching fish swim by. Some of them glowed in the dark. It was amazing how active the ocean was at night.

He sat up, wrapped up in his blanket, and pulled a stuffed lamb close. The crib was littered with stuffed animals, to keep Peso company at night. He held the lamb tightly against his chest, thinking over the captain's words: Snow Bear would always be with him.

Peso looked at the corner of the crib, where Hospital Bear sat, leaning against another teddy bear. It had honey brown eyes, and soft fluffy fur. Peso had lots of other teddy bears.

They were not Snow Bear.

Snow Bear was watching him from above. The thought of that made him feel a little safer. Snow Bear would not want him to be sad or hurt.

He rolled over, snuggling his lamb, and looked at Woody. The cowboy and his deputy seemed to be smiling at him. Woody felt worry well up in his chest. He'd never met a child like this before.

Peso reached out, and pulled them close. Peck laid against his side, while Peso inspected Woody. The cowboy doll was still alien in his flippers. But, it offered a source of comfort.

No one could replace Snow Bear.

But, every little baby had to have a toy.

Peso put Woody down on the pillow next to him, and closed his eyes. He was still mad at Woody, and he hated it. But, maybe, things would be better in the morning.

When Peso fell asleep, Woody stroked his cheek, smiling gently. "Don't worry, partner. I was made to help a kid. I aim to do it." He took in Peso's adorable features. he could already tell this was a bright, imaginative child.

"Goodnight, little deputy." He whispered gently. Peso smiled in his sleep. Woody smiled lovingly at him before drifting off himself.