KISS: In The Band

Ch 16: Wait No Way (Ace)

"Hey Ace."

I looked up from the crossword I was doing, giving him a smile. "Yeah what's up love?" He sat on my lap kissing me on the cheek. "So I know it's almost our four-year anniversary--" he started. I smiled, kissing him back and slipping my arms around his waist. "Mm-hm and it's been a wonderful four years and I love every minute of it." He smiled. "Me too. But anyway! I got you an early gift," he said, handing me a folded piece of paper.

"Ooh I'm intrigued!" I said cheerfully, opening the card and feeling my heart immediately start racing. "Oh my gosh Peter like--like today?!" I choked. He gave me an incredibly proud smile and ran a hand through my hair, kissing me on the forehead. "Yes! Like in an hour! So let's go!" he said cheerfully, jumping to his feet and pulling me to mine.

"Wait what?! We're going now?!" I cried. "Yes!" he said with a laugh, grabbing my hand and dragging me out the door. I sat in the passenger seat, freaking out. "But but like now?!" "Ace, yes! It's just an evaluation thing, we're just seeing if we'll qualify. We're not going to adopt a kid today," he said, pulling into the parking lot.

"Oh my gosh Peter I love you so much," I gasped, leaning over and kissing him passionately. He kissed me back, twisting a hand through my hair. "I love you too, babe. Now come on, let's go in!" Squeezing his hand, I followed him into the adoption agency, waiting as he talked to the receptionist before walking over to me with two clipboards. "Alright love, fill this out!"

The two of us set to work, filling out the paperwork. We worked silently before I nudged him in the ribs. "Hey wait Peter what do I put for social security number? Mine? Or yours? And then for income do I put our total income or just mine? Or just yours from the garage instead of the band? Or--"

Peter put a hand on my arm, giving me a smile. "Ace I love you, you know I do. You're a doll and I'm so happy we're married. But maybe just let me do the talking? I really want this to go smoothly, you already know we're at a disadvantage since we're gay, and sometimes you can say dumb things. I mean I love it when you do, I love everything about you, but I want us to look the best we can," he said quietly.

My heart sank but I forced a smile. "Oh. Okay." He sighed, leaning over and kissing me on the cheek. "Come on dear, you know I love you. I just did a bunch of research into this already so I'll probably be better prepared, you know?"

There was the sound of high heels on the tile floor before I could answer, and a woman pushed the door open, giving us a smile. "Hi, you must be Peter Criscuola," she said, extending a hand toward me. I smiled back, shaking my head. "Actually, he is! I'm his husband, Paul Frehley." "Oh, perfect! It's nice to meet you two! Why don't you come back to my office and we can talk about things?"

"Sounds good!" Peter said, rising to his feet and grabbing my hand as we followed her down the hall. The woman sat at her desk, giving us another smile. "I'm Ms. Tiara, I'm the one who's going to be working on your case. So let's start! Have either of you had any arrests or run in with the laws?" We looked at each other before shaking our heads. "No ma'am, we have not," Peter said with a grin.

She kept running through questions and to be fair Peter did have a point, since I was basically spaced out the whole time, just nodding along or shaking my head whenever she asked if we did anything illegal. 

"Would you be willing to adopt an infant who was exposed to drugs prenatally?" 

That one snapped me out of it and I shot a glance at Peter, who was staring at Ms. Tiara with wide eyes before turning to me. I just shrugged, and he squeezed my hand tightly. "We'll talk about that," I said after a pause. He squeezed my hand even tighter and I bit back a sigh, already bracing myself for an argument when we got home.

And sure enough, I was right. 

After we had finished the evaluation and talked more about scheduling a future meeting with Ms. Tiara, Peter drove home, not really saying much until we got into the house and I shut the door behind me. "Ace I really wanna adopt a baby like that," he said breathlessly. I winced, trying to think of the right words to say. 

"Peter I don't know, I don't know if we can do that is the thing," I said hesitantly. "I know but Ace I want to! I want to give a baby born like that a chance! That was almost me, I grew up in a drug family and it was fucking awful! I want to help a child like that!" he cried. "I know but Peter listen to me! We don't know how to raise a kid! We don't have a single fucking clue! And now you want us to raise a kid who might be born addicted to drugs? That's a challenge! That's a challenge and I don't think it's a good idea for our first kid!" I shouted.

"Ace you're not listening to me! If we have a chance to give a kid a better life, I want to take that chance!" Peter shouted right back, face starting to turn red. "I know you do! But we're not responsible enough for that yet!" "Well then maybe adopting is a mistake!" Peter roared. "Maybe it is!" I snapped back.

"Maybe this whole fucking marriage is a mistake!"

There was a ringing silence as we stared at each other. Chest heaving, I took a step back before walking to our room and slamming the door shut behind me, Peter hot on my heels. "Ace you know I didn't mean that," he said, grabbing my arm. I turned around, starting to get upset on multiple levels. "Look, are you unhappy being married to me?" I snapped. "No! Ace you know I'm not, I love you! You know I love you!"

"Well you don't always show it," I grumbled, sitting on our bed. To my surprise, he burst into tears, sitting next to and throwing his arms around me. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry Ace, I'm sorry! I love you, I really do, I'm sorry I don't always show it! I've just been so stressed lately!" he wailed.

My heart sank and I pulled him into a tight hug, stroking his hair soothingly. "It's okay, it's okay, babe it's okay, Peter it's okay," I murmured. "Take a deep breath and calm down and we'll talk. It's okay." Sniffling, he sat back, rubbing his eyes. I slipped an arm around his waist, pulling him against my side and kissing him on the forehead.

"I'm sorry love, I know you love me and I love you too and I want to be married to you and have a kid with you. I love you, no matter how much you say it to me or not, I don't care if you tell me every day or never, I know you love me and I love you too. But what's wrong doll, why are you stressed?" I asked gently.

He sniffed again, wiping his nose. "It's just...there's so much going on right now, with the band and all the drama between us and I don't know, it just feels like I don't have enough time with you and I want you to be happy and I want to be happy with you and I want to adopt a baby but-but--"

Peter trailed off, lip quivering and gave me a sad look, eyes filling with tears. My heart sank and I pulled him into a tight hug, burying my face in his shoulder as he did the same. "It's okay. We'll be just fine. No, we'll be better than fine! We'll be amazing, because we have each other. But we need to be on the same page. We need to both be in agreement about adopting. About everything about adopting." 

"I know.  I know," he murmured.