KISS: In The Band

Ch 30: Done (Ace)

"You're done, man. You're tanking your life, you're crashing so hard right now, and being in the band is making it worse. For your own sake, you're done. Get help, Peter please for the love of everything that's good and holy, get help. Check yourself into rehab, go to addiction counseling, just something! Just do something, please!" Gene cried.

"W-what? No! You can't kick me out! No, I'm fine, I'm totally fine!" he protested, twitching, tugging nervously at his ear. "No you're not. You're really not. You're a mess, Peter, you're a huge mess. For your own sake, you're done," Paul said quietly. Peter shook his head, staring at us in horror. "No! I'm part of the band, I helped found it!" he cried. I placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, feeling sick.

"Peter. It's okay. You're not done forever, just until you recover, alright?" And of course, since he was high, Peter flipped. "No! Fuck you! Fuck all of you! I helped make this fucking band! You can't have it without me! The three of you are just selfish assholes who just want to get more of the fucking money! You know what, I don't even want to be in the band! Fuck all of you!" he screamed, shoving me away and storming out of the room.

There was a long silence before I let out a quiet sigh. "That went about as well as expected. I'll talk to him at home." "Yeah. He can come back any time once he's not such a mess. And Ace...maybe thinking about getting some help for yourself. I love you man, but you're kind of...kind of an alcoholic," Gene said quietly.

I jumped, feeling my face going red. "Oh. Huh. I'm just gonna go and talk to him, but I'll think about that. Thanks. I'll let you guys know what happens," I said, walking out of the room and shoving Gene's comment to the back of my mind.

Peter had gone from being really mad to being really upset. He was sitting at the table in tears by the time I walked in to the house. Heart sinking, I sat next to him, slipping an arm around his shoulders. "Hey love, it's okay. You just need to get help and then it'll be fine. Then you can come back. Once you stop the drugs it'll be fine!"

"N-no! It's not fair! I helped make the band, I helped make all our albums! T-they can't just kick me out!" "Peter, it wasn't just them. It was all three of us. You need help."

"Y-you voted me out of the band?" he choked. I nodded, patting him on the back. "For your own good." He burst into even more tears. "Ace! How could you?! Why wouldn't you just talk to me?! Come on, you're supposed to support me!" he cried. "I've been trying, but you won't listen! You're addicted again, dammit!"

"Well maybe you were too drunk to notice! You're not exactly stone cold sober either!" he shouted. "I'm just trying to have fun! But no, you keep interfering with my life and ruining everything!"

I saw red, jumping to my feet and pointing at him. "Don't even fucking start with me! Dammit Peter, I love you, you're the love of my life, but you're also fucking up my life! I loved having you in the band but you chose drugs over that! I love having date nights with you, but you chose drugs over that! And I want to have a family with you, but you've picked drugs over that! We lost our eligibility to adopt because of you! Because of you and your fucking cocaine habit!" I screamed.

He blinked, staring at me in horror before starting to sob even harder. "No! No, no, no!" he wailed, jumping to his feet and running out of the house. "Peter, wait!" I cried, chasing after him. I caught his arm as he reached the driveway, pulling him back inside as he bawled his eyes out. Despite how angry I was, I sat on the couch with him, taking his hand. "It's okay."

"It's not! It's not, Ace it's not! I ruined everything! You wanted a family more than anything and I ruined it! I'm so fucking selfish, I'm so sorry! You deserve a better husband, I'm so sorry I can't give you the life you deserve!" he sobbed.

"Peter. You need help. Get. Help. I love you more than anything, but get cleaned up. Get clean. Or...or I'm done." He jumped, giving me a horrified look. "N-no! No Ace please don't say that, please don't leave me! You're the only person I've ever loved, I need you in my life!"

"Then start acting like it!" 

His face fell, more tears rolling down his cheeks, but I was too mad to care. "You don't act like you care about me, Peter. You don't consider my feelings, my opinions on issues, you just do what you want. You know how I feel about your cocaine use! I've never liked that, not now, not back in college, not even in high school! It's a hard drug and it can fuck you up! I don't want to walk into our home and find you dead on the floor from an overdose!"

He nodded, sniffling. "I'm sorry. I haven't been a good husband t-" "No. You haven't," I snapped, cutting him off. Peter winced, biting on his lip. "I know. I'll do better, I promise. I'll do whatever I can to make sure you can adopt a baby. I'll stop the drugs, I'll stop drinking so much, I promise."

"I'm sure you will. And then a few years later you'll fall right back into it, like you always have. Look, Peter, for now...I'm just done. I'm going to take a break, okay? I'm going to spend a few days in a hotel, just to give myself some time to calm down."

"No no no Ace please don't, please don't leave me! Please I love you, I love you and I'm sorry and I need you in my life!" he cried, clutching at my arm. I pulled my hand free, rising to my feet. "And I love you too, Peter. But I'm going to take a break. Just for a few days. I'll see you in a few days," I said, walking into our room and starting to throw together a bag.

Peter ran after me, tears streaming down his face. "No no Ace please, please don't go! Please don't! W-we can work things out, we can just sit down and talk about everything! Please Ace don't leave! I need you!" he cried. I shook my head, throwing one last shirt in my bag. "No. I need a few days on my own. I'll see you Sunday, okay? That's one week. That's it." He just sank to the floor, drawing his knees to his chest and crying.

I stopped, hand on the doorknob, before letting out a sigh. "I love you Peter, I really do, I swear. I'll see you in a week," I said gently, before heading out. To be honest, I was almost excited to take a break. Things had been getting worse between us, and a week apart would help me figure out if our marriage could be saved.