KISS: In The Band

Ch 48: Fighting (Bruce)

It had been a long, long year. Eric had been fighting so hard to beat cancer, but it was obvious he was getting sicker with every passing week. He spent most of his time with Carrie and Charlie, desperate to get as much time with his family as possible in case anything happened. I spent most of my time hoping desperately I wouldn't get a call from someone telling me he was gone.

I sat on the floor across from him as he gave me a huge smile. Despite losing so much, the one thing he still had was his infectiously positive attitude. "Hey Charlie! Show your Uncle Bruce how good you are at walking!" he said, helping Charlie to stand upright. I held out my arms and Charlie toddled a few steps before falling into my arms, giving me a smile. "Good job!" I said, standing him upright. "Now walk back!"

"Dada!" Charlie said with a smile, walking back to Eric, who scooped him into a hug. "I'm so proud of you!" he said. "You're growing up so fast!" he said, voice growing thick as he ruffled Charlie's hair, which was now as curly as Eric's had been, although it was still Carrie's light brown color. That was probably the weirdest thing. Chemo had taken his hair, and seeing him bald was something I'd probably never get used to.

"How's he been lately?" I asked, holding out my arms as Charlie walked back over to me. "He's been good. He's gotten so big lately, it's wild! He's getting old, too! Still sleeps with Howie the fox every night though," he said, giving me a grin. I smiled back. "Well hey, as long as it's in the Carr family it's serving its purpose."

"He loves Howie! It was one of the first words he said. And I mean look at him now, talking and stuff! I'm so proud of him. And I just...I love him so, so much, man. I hope...I hope I can see him grow up."

"You will. You will, I promise. I'm not going to let anything happen to you, you know that. When you got stabbed I told you that I'd never let anything happen to you, that still stands." He grinned, pointing at me. "I'm holding you to that!" he said.

We hung out for a few more hours, talking about nothing and trying desperately to pretend everything was normal. Finally, Charlie had started to fall asleep, and Eric and I rose to our feet. "Alright, I'll see you tomorrow, alright?" I said, raising an eyebrow. Eric grinned, giving me a hug. "Looking forward to it! Damn man, thanks for being such a help during all of this...mess," he said, shaking his head. "It's literally the least I can do. You saved my life senior year, it's my turn to save yours."

He laughed, giving me another hug. "Damn, now I'm in debt to you again! But really, I love you so much. You're my best friend." I nodded, hugging him back. "I love you too man, I really do. And hey, you can repay your debt to me by fucking kicking cancer's ass." Grinning, he finally let me go, picking up Charlie. "I'm doing my best, I'm doing my best! I'm gonna do it though. For Charlie and Carrie and you and everyone."

I put a hand on his shoulder, smile a bit sad. "But don't push yourself too hard. Give yourself some time to rest." "I will, don't worry! Now seriously, I gotta put Charlie down for a nap. I'll see you tomorrow!" "Bye man! Love you!" "Love you too!" he said, finally closing the door behind me.

I had only been home for an hour or so before my phone started to ring, and it wouldn't stop. I looked at Mrs. Carr's number on the screen and immediately felt sick. I answered the phone, heart pounding. "Hello?" "Bruce, Eric...something happened, he's...in a coma. They don't..." Don't say it, don't say it, please for the love of everything don't-- "They don't think he's going to wake up."

Everything seemed to fall apart around me as I sat down abruptly. "W-what? No, I just saw him, I was just...I was just talking to him." "They don't think he'll wake up again. Please, please just come see him before he's gone. I-I know it's hard but it's what he would want."

"Of course. I'll be right over," I murmured, grabbing my keys. I didn't remember driving over to the hospital. I just remember ending up there. Feeling sick, I walked into his room, joining Mrs. Carr at his bedside. "I'll give you a moment," she whispered, stepping out of the room.

I looked at Eric, feeling my heart shatter. He looked so peaceful, like he was just sleeping. Like he would wake up tomorrow and laugh at me for being scared. "Bruce, I survived getting stabbed when I was 18, cancer now is no big deal! Damn man, stop being so emotional! I mean at the same time though, I'd be offended if you hadn't cried."

I took his hand, feeling tears rolling down my face."Hey Eric. I don't know if you can hear me and I don't...know what to say. I love you, man. You're my best friend ever. You better fucking wake up, you know I need you. Carrie needs you and Charlie needs you and your parents and your sisters and...and please, Eric. Please. I love you. Please wake up. Dammit, dammit, please fucking wake up. You're strong, you can fight this. Please. Please wake up. I love you."

But despite how desperately I had begged him, despite how hard he had fought, I got the call that night that he was gone.

I walked up to the Carr house the next day, unlocking the door with the key Eric had given me ages ago. "Carrie?" I called. She looked up from the couch, face blotchy and eyes red. "Carrie--" I began, but she cut me off with a wail, running into my arms. I just held her as she sobbed, knowing there was nothing I could say that would even come close to comforting her. "It's not fair! It's not fair, it's not fucking fair!" she screamed. "I know. I know," I murmured. "It's not fair! W-why did it have to happen to him?! We had just...we had just...Charlie's never going to really meet his dad! Dammit Bruce, why did it have to happen to him?!"

"I don't know. I'm sorry," I said softly. Everything inside of me hurt. My heart had shattered into a million pieces but I couldn't show it. I had to be strong for Carrie. She just sobbed harder, clinging to me as if her life depended on it.

Carefully, I picked her up in my arms, carrying her back to the couch and sitting with her, holding her tightly in my arms. "Charlie's not going to remember him! He's never going to know him! Damn it, damn it, damn it! Eric was--Eric was so excited! He was so excited to have a son! He was going to teach him how to ride a bike, to play catch, to play the drums just like him, to-to..." She trailed off into gasping sobs, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry," I said, because there was nothing else I could say. "We were going to have four kids!" she screamed. "We were going to have four kids and have a family and be happy together and grow old together and now he's gone!" I nodded, holding her, and just murmuring "I'm sorry" over and over again.

When Shandi came over to stay with Carrie, I finally went back home, sitting on the edge of my bed. With a shaking hand, I unlocked my phone, looking at the last message he sent me. Thanks Bruce, idk what I'd do without u lol I love u so much I'm so glad I have u in my life

My lip quivered for a moment before I burst into tears, crumpling to the ground and starting to bawl. Lisa ran into the room, sitting next to me and slipping her arms around me, holding me as I wept. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

But the words were hollow and empty.