Sweet Lies | Nathan Young [Misfits]

- 10 -

"You know, maybe I can climb stuff and do spider shit." Nathan said as he walked with the others towards the community centre.

Jade huffed and rolled her eyes. "You're still hung up on this?"

"Yeah, cos that makes perfect sense." Curtis deadpanned. "Why would you be able to climb stuff?"

Nathan raised an eyebrow at him. "I don't know... How is that you can turn back time, apparently? Weird kid can turn invisible and candyfloss can make stuff appear. It's not like this whole situation is backed up by wank-load of logic."

Suddenly they all stopped when they noticed a strange naked man curled in a ball on the ground in the middle of the street.

"What is that?" Alisha asked in disgust.

"Is he breathing?" Simon's voice wavered in worry.

They approached the man and stared at him. Nathan kicked him. "Hey! Nude guy! You're naked!"

"Do you need help?" Jade asked him. "Should we call an ambulance ?"

"The guy's probably just hammered." Curtis said.

Suddenly the man groaned as he stirred, startling the group. He opened his eyes and they widened when they met Nathan's.

"You!" Nathan exclaimed in offense, and the man quickly got up and started running away. Everyone caught a glimpse of his genitals, and Jade gasped in shock. "Hey!" Nathan barked after the man.

As soon as the stranger was out of their sight everyone but Nathan and Simon burst laughing.

"Do you want to tell us who that was?" Alisha asked as she wiped her tears with the back of her hand.

"He's my mum's... He lives with my mum." Nathan grumbled.

"Your step dad has got a massive cock." She smirked.

Jade giggled at Alisha's remark and Nathan sputtered. "Jesus! And he's not my step dad, all right?"

"Did you see that thing?" Kelly exclaimed. "That was monster big, your mum will hurt."

"Now I get what she sees in him." Jade noted with a sly smirk, and Nathan looked at her in disgust as he slapped his hands over his ears.

"La, la, la, la! Shut up!"

"Why's he naked?" Simon asked Nathan.

He shrugged. "Well, he's obviously some kind of pervert, or he's gay. That follows. Well, he was cruising for rough trade, they love that shit."

"Oh, a little homophobia." Curtis deadpanned. "Go for it."

"Or he could be a rapist." Alisha stated. "There's loads of them round here."

"What?" Jade blurted, her eyes wide in surprise. "There's rapists here?"

She raised an eyebrow at the pink haired girl. "Really? Have you been living under a rock?"

"Rude." Jade grumbled. "And I walk back home from work late at night, that sucks..."

"Please tell me you at least have a knife or a pepper spray on you." Kelly said with a stern expression.

"What's a pepper spray?" Jade blurted, and the others sighed.

"Really, candyfloss?" Nathan asked with raised eyebrows.

"S-shut up." She stammered as she avoided his gaze in shame.

"Maybe the nude guy's a werewolf." Simon quickly changed the topic when he noticed how upset Jade was starting to become.