LOVE ME LIKE YOU DO

46.Facing the truth.

A week later.

Sid's pov.

I woke up super early this morning , as I could not sleep much these days ,since Sana is unwell, first I used to try and catch some extra sleep just for the sake of my mental sanity but then eventually gave up on that as it seemed useless, no matter how much I try , no matter what I do, I fail to keep my peace of mind intact till the girl who holds the power and remote of my happiness and peace in her hand, is unwell, so I decided as always to get up from the bed, once I get up I did my morning routine and came to kitchen to make a cup of coffee, Sana is still sleeping and she is still too weak to get up from her bed , she hasn't talked to me properly these few days but I am ready to give her as much time as he needs to feel better and talk to me .
I take my coffee and went towards the balcony to watch the sun rise , I was watching the run rise for the 4th time this week, as the sun rises, I feel all the problems , all the fear everything just shuts down and I feel normal again, I let my mind float to normalcy again , just looking at the sky I felt new, I was just staring at the sky , watching bit changing colours ,I didn't realize how much time have passed, I was just thinking about the time when things were fine, when we had no secrets from each other when we were happy in our own little world , when we didn't gave a damm about the world , it feels like yesterday when I decided to let go of all the fear and insecurity and propose marriage to her . I was lost in my thoughts and I don't know how much time have passed ,the sun rays are now piercing my eyes and the heat is unbearable now, I was about to get up and go inside when I feel her presence, I looked towards her and she was standing near the curtain looking towards me, when our eyes met ,she smiled and just came to me and sat on my lap, this small gesture of her lifted thousand pounds from my shoulder, she wrapped her arms around my neck and I put my head on her chest hearing her heartbeat. We stayed there like that for I don't know how long feeling the sukoon of each other presence , I was satisfied with just a small hug from her , I don't expect anything much , I love her like this, simple sweet and mine , I don't like to see the worry in her face and the paleness in her body, it's only me who knows how I managed to survive this entire week seeing her weak and dull, her magnificent smile that has the power to light up the entire town was missing , her glow that was enough to wash away all my pain was missing, I was so happy to get my Sana back .

We were sitting there in total silence when she decided to break the silence she touched my hand and started playing with my fingers the worry in her attitude was quite visible as if she is hiding something, it's like there is something she wants to tell me but something is stopping her from that. She somehow looked into my eyes while still holding my fingers in her entire palm and said

Sana- Tu Kaisa hai?

I smiled at her innocence "don't you think I should ask this to you" I replied

Sana- I was kinda avoiding this very question.
We both laughed at this , oh how much I missed this laughter of hers, it's like music to my ears, it felt like , I was parched and someone opened an entire ocean of sweet water for me. After a while we both stopped laughing and I saw a worried expression on her face and she touched my face with her small fingers and said.

Sana- baby I want to tell you something.

I can read the worry and fear in her face.

Sid- hai , bol na baby, kya hua?

Sana- Siddharth I don't know how to tell you , main bade dino se kuch batana chah rahi thi magar samjh nai aa raha tha kaise bolun, but now I think I can't hide it anymore and you have all the right to know about it.

Sid- Tu itna pareshan kyun hai baccha?

Sana- baby , I gonna tell you something please don't freak out , it took me quite some time to figure out how to tell you this but now I don't know how to do it.

Sid- kya hua , bata mujhe, tujhe mujhe kuch bhi bolne ke liye itna kyu sochna pad raha??

Sana- sun na please.

Sid-hai, bol chal.

Sana- you know that day when you went out for shopping and I asked you to bring few things and you told me something about my food cravings.

Sid- yes yes. Did you felt bad about it, I am so sorry sweetheart.

Sana- sun na please, aise tokega then I won't be able to say it.

Sid- sorry , go on.

Sana- so tu us din jab store gaya tha , tab main bhi bahar gayi thi___

I raised my eyebrows hearing this but she signalled me to listen the whole thing so I let her continue without interrupting her in middle .

"___I went to the medical store that day to buy___ "

She took a deep preparatory breath and continued

"___Pregnancy test kit___"
She paused for few seconds and I was shocked to hear her confession , I had no idea that she had taken the test , I knew there was something off about her in these few days and now I know that she was worried this.
Again she continued

"___ I took the test and it was"

"Negative" I completed the sentence

Her face fell and tears started flowing from her eyes and she said " no, it was positive, I didn't knew how you gonna react on this and how you would feel about the kid, Sidharth I am sorry I forget to take the shoot and now I and pregnant"

She said this with so much fear and pain in her eyes that I felt ashamed of myself that I could not give her the confidence that she could tell me anything ,she is still afraid of my reaction and because of this she fell sick, thinking about me and my anger, this was a horrible blow on my short temperedness. I had to do something to make her believe in me and be able to talk to me if anything is bothering her. I hugged her tight and said

" Sweetheart, when I came back home, I found you shivering under the blanket and you had mild temperature , I immediately called the doctor and he ran few tests on you, the doctor even asked what kind of relationship we share and will he need to run a pregnancy test on you, I won't lie, but first few seconds I was not sure whether to tell him about us or not but then I decided that your health was much more important to me than our privacy and at that time I did not feel like hiding our relationship with him and since you were unconscious I gave him the permission to run the pregnancy test also and the result was to come the next day, I was very scared and excited both at the same time to see the result of the test , I could not sleep the entire night thinking about the result and I made so many plans about how we gonna be if there will be a kid coming in our life but then I was not sure of how you gonna react on this, if you would want to keep the baby or not and you completely ignored me that day ,you didn't even looked at me properly,and I thought may be it's because of the fever and weaknesses"

Sana-I didn't knew how to face you.

Sid -you don't have to think like that ever again sweetheart, I am yours and you are mine,you have all the right on me, agar tujhe laga tu pregnant hai toh I was equally a part of this pregnancy, so why do you felt you need to be ashamed of it, the baby would have been ours, yours and mine . You never have to be ashamed of this, never . Promise me you won't hesitate telling me anything , anything that bothers you ,you will tell me , okay??

Sana- yes.

Sid- promise me.

Sana- I promise.

She again hugged me tightly and I wrapped my arms around her and rubbed her back in order to calm her down.

"What was on the report?"

She wishpired lightly while still holding me tightly.

"It was negative" I answered her pulling her closer. "You are not pregnant."
We both sat there in total silence for quite long.
No matter what the report said, no matter how much I wanted to have a family of my own but what I craved most in this one week was my baby, my Shehnaaz Kaur Gill and now since she is back to me healthy and happy, now that all her fear and insecurity is gone, I am contained , I am happy , I am complete. There's nothing I want more. Her happiness and her campanionship is what I long for.