Oreos, Coffee And Fun Mix. (A Lams Fanfic)

Unfair

trigger warning)

Beep.

A bit of silence.

Another beep.

This sound, was something Alexander was all too familiar with.

This feeling, is something he'd faced, time.

And time,

And time,

Again.

It felt like an endless cycle of loss, waiting, hoping, guilt, and any other applicable emotion.

Silence was the only sound besides the beeping of the monitor, everyone's breathing, and Alexander sobbing.

Everyone was there. But yet, not a single person could bring themselves to read the letter, the note, or whatever they chose to name it.

It felt wrong.

'Please, please.... Wake up.... Please!' Alexander thought, peeking out from his hands at John's pale and unconscious body.

~~

"Hey Lexi?" John stood at the doorway, leaning against the frame.

"Yeah? What do ya' need John?" Alexander looked up from his laptop, smiling at him.

"I need some Tylenol, where is it?"

"In the medicine cabinet, on the shelf underneath the prescriptions." Alexander replied, watching as John walked off before going back to his laptop.

~~

'I should've known. There was no way he was in a good state of mind after just escaping his dad.' Alexander sniffled, wiping his eyes.

'Please make it. Please.'

"Petit lion." Lafayette put a hand on his shoulder, and Alexander looked up.

"What?" Alexander muttered, looking away.

"We're going to read the letter, do you wish to join? "

Alexander nodded, got up, and made his way over to the others, being handed the letter.

He inhaled shakily, looking at the others who held their breath as he read out loud.

He read, looking at Eliza as he read the part about her.

She had a hand to her chest, the other covering her mouth as tears started pouring.

He glanced at Angelica, reading her paragraph.

Angelica let a small chuckle strangled with tears escape her lips.
"Love you too, Freckles."

Alexander watched Hercules's as he nodded, wiping his eyes.

Lafayette was shaking as he heard what was written about him, Hercules giving him a tight hug.

"Forever and always, my guy." Peggy chuckled a bit, smiling softly.

"Do you want me to read the next part instead, Alex?" She whispered, Alexander nodding.

Peggy watched Alexander as she read, just as he did to her.

Each compliment, only hurt him more. It brought weight to his sobs, making them heavier, along with the strong feeling of guilt.

At the 'smile no matter what' part, Alexander looked down, silent.

How could he smile in a situation like this?

"Hey, are you okay?" Peggy asked, rubbing Alexander's back.

"After everything... He expects me to smile?" Alexander muttered, gripping his hair.

"He hates the thought of you being sad...he said it himself."

"I can't lose someone else... I can't."

Peggy hugged him.

"I know."