Finer Things // h.s.

New Years Eve, 2016

December 31st, 2016

Tilly's POV

Dad and Anne went out for a New Years' Eve party tonight and Gemma left early yesterday evening to go home to London so I'm sat here in my living room, buried under numerous blankets, laying on the lounge, watching The Conjuring and stuffing my face with a bag of microwavable popcorn in a dark room, the only light coming from the glow of the TV. This is the third horror movie I've watched in a row and if Dad knew he'd probably become very worried. It started after Mum died, I suppose. My obsession of horror movies. I was seven and came downstairs to see Dad asleep on the lounge with the 1978 film, Halloween playing on the TV.

October 1st, 2000

I walk downstairs and my body runs cold as the cool air inside the living room hits my skin and I tighten at my dressing gown. The house hasn't been too warm since Mum died. I look to my right and see Dad asleep on the lounge, a beer in his hand as he snores softly, the TV glowing against his face. I creep around the corner and see the TV. I watch in awe at what Dad must have been watching before he fell asleep. The man gets a beer from the fridge and in an instant, he is stabbed in the back by a masked figure. I stand back and gasp, knocking the lamp on the side table over. I look to Dad who grumbles and rolls a little bit, another snore escaping his lips. I bite down on my lip and clench my fists into balls, holding them to my mouth. He doesn't wake up, so I move to the TV and sit in front of it, wrapping the purple blanket that rests on the floor around my shoulders.

It still smells like her.

The film ends with a montage of places indicating that the masked killer could be anywhere, and I sit here staring at the credits. The TV turns off, causing the room to go dark and I jump and turn around to see Dad with the TV remote in his hand. I look to the clock and see it says '1:57AM'.

"Darling, what're you doing?" Dad asks sleepily.

"I couldn't sleep." I lie.

"Ahhh Tilly." He says softly as he gets up, taking me in his arms and carrying me upstairs to my bedroom.

"Dad?" I say as he covers the blanket over me and kisses my forehead.

"Yes sweetheart?" He says.

"Do you think Mum went to heaven?" I say, watching as he leans in my doorway.

"I think your mother was an angel who went back to heaven. Get some sleep." He says as he walks out of the room and closes the door. Leaving me in a dark room alone. I lay still and look at the ceiling, recounting the movie I just watched.

That man's death was so simple and so fast. Nobody cared that he was dead or how he died. Is that how everyone else treats death? I watched Mum lay in a hospital bed as she lost her hair and her skin faded from tan to ghastly. Why was his so... so... easy? There were no consequences, and nobody cried for him. Maybe I should watch horror movies more often.

December 31st, 2016

Harry went out with friends from school tonight and I was invited I just didn't want to go out to the pub with, I suppose I just felt like I wanted to stay home. It also doesn't help that Harry and I haven't really spoken since Christmas. I spent the week at home buried under the same old blankets. I finish the movie and shuffle deep into the lounge, folding my arms over my chest as I think about the last week of being home. Harry and I really didn't talk now that I think about it. We discussed going out with friends but that was about it really. We had dinner at Anne's most nights after Christmas, but I sat myself next to Gemma, Anne or Dad. Anyone but Harry. Things have been weird between us, exchanging the occasional smile or awkward glance but I can't stop thinking about Townes.