Finer Things // h.s.

Goodbye once more, my love

A/N: There is literally no way we hit 3K reads!!!!! Thank you, truly!! 

Harry's POV

I toss and turned all night. Sleeping without her felt weird, wrong even. I thought if I left the door open she'd come in later and we'd fall back into one another's arms, protected by the covers – but she didn't, she's got too much pride for that to happen. The sun should be up soon, and I haven't slept whatsoever. How does this happen, and how does this happen so often? Not even a full twenty-four hours ago she was in my arms as we lay in the field, kissing one another. Fuck, how I love kissing her. I've wronged her these past few weeks, never discussing what happened in New York but I think about it every day. Every single day. Her skin drives me wild but the person she is brings me home, shes my sweet creature. Her compassion for those around her makes me want to love harder. Her desire for perfection makes me want to better herself, but her understanding for times when things can't be perfect makes me realise it's okay to be... well it's okay to not be okay. I can't take this anymore. Not one bit. I need her in my arm's, and I need to show her how I feel, even if it scares me beyond belief.

I get out of bed and see the time; the sun will be up in half an hour. I move slowly to the loungeroom, careful not to wake the house up. I crouch beside her as she sleeps entangled in the different coloured blankets, her hair all over her face. I take my fingers and gently move it out of the way, and I see her in all her glory. No makeup, a little drool coming from her lip and her hands sprawled behind her head. She's beautiful.

"Hey..." I whisper as I give her a gentle nudge. She groans a little but flutters her eyes as she begins to wake up.

"Harry?" She says sleepily and my heart melts.

"Get up, I wanna show you something." I whisper as she rolls over and inhales deeply, her chest rising and falling.

"What time is it? It's still dark." She says as she fumbles to her feet, keeping a blanket wrapped around her.

"It's around six... come on." I whisper as I take her hand in mine and she follows me out to the porch. I close the door behind me and tighten my hoodie over my face from the cold wind. We walk down to the beach in the darkness and sit on the beach. She looks pretty tired; my mind convinces me she only fell asleep a little while ago. We sit together and she's careful around me, guarded even. I shuffle towards her and wrap my arm around her shoulders, her body tiny in comparison to mine.

"I'm sorry." I say to her as we sit on the sand in the darkness, the light soon surfacing to rise from the ocean.

"Harry it's okay, really." She says with a yawn.

"When I left in 2010, I had no clue of the complete and utter whirlwind I was in for. I didn't know that drive home after the audition would be the last. I didn't think saying goodbye would actually be a goodbye for almost three years. Tilly, you're my best friend." I say to her as we look out onto the ocean, neither one of us saying anything for a few moments. The sky errupts into orange hues and tangerine pastels as the sun begins to rise, illuminating the golden grass that sway around us. 

"I think we both went through things that changed us Harry, you moreso than I." She says with a soft grin as she lifts her head from nestling on my shoulder and I nod.

"I want you to know that these past few weeks, Rome, Holmes Chapel and Amsterdamn have made me remember how good it feels to have you around.It's so familiar yet so new at the same time. I also want you to know that, well, um... New York and London were never mistakes. I think we just kind of um-"

"Kind of what?" She says softly and I watch as her body language becomes more closed in on itself.

"I think we kind of um..." I've lost my words. This was the moment I tell her and I've completely ruined it.