Finer Things // h.s.

Dunkirk

Harry's POV

July 13th, 2017

It's been little over two months since the album dropped and things have gone from zero to a hundred really quickly. The tour sold out in a matter of minutes when tickets went live, I've been booked on late night television shows for the next five months and the film premiere tonight for 'Dunkirk' is fast approaching. That's the only time I'll be allowed to see Tilly in public, otherwise I'd be putting her in risk of violating her contract and I love her too much to do that.

The last time I saw her I was driving her to the airport, stealing a final kiss in the tinted windows of my SUV, her face red and blotchy from crying, I told myself I wouldn't cry so it would be less painful so I waited until she'd gotten out of the car and was out of my vision. I watched her walk away not turning to say goodbye or at least wave but I suppose she'd be risking everything she's worked hard for these last few years. I've made an effort to text her every day and she always replies whether in the hour or at the end of the day, but nonetheless, she replies. I sat in the car for a little while when she got out and wrote some lyrics in my phone, well, I recounted the argument we had before I told her I loved her in the notes on my phone. It was such a fine line between losing her for good and keeping her in my life, so I told her the three little words I've craved to give her for years; I just wish that our circumstances were different. Maybe I could have told her on a beach on the Amalfi Coast, or in front of the Empire State Building, or on a picnic blanket out front of the Eifel tower surrounded by cheese and biscuits, or hell even in the quiet hours of the morning when the foam from her hot chocolate sits above her cupids bow and my heart melts so much I basically shout that I love her. I've kept a close eye on the interviews and articles that have come out over the last month and I find myself googling their names together at the end of the day, it breaks my heart that the thing she loves to do most, acting, is her detriment.

"Harry, are you listening?" Jeff says and I look at him and nod slowly in confusion, furrowing my brows at him and he throws his head back.

"I said are you nervous for tonight, first movie premiere." He says putting his two thumbs up as he sits across the room from me. Honestly, I don't feel nervous just unsure of what I'm in for. My old bandmates, Niall, Liam and Louis sent me a message in the old One Direction group chat, the familiar sound of the obscure ringtone I set for them made me feel bitter-sweet.

"Is she-"

"Yes, Tilly is going tonight." He says, knowing I'm asking about her and I drop my head, looking at the ground as we await the car to come and get us to take us to Odeon in Leicester Square for the premiere.

"She's wearing an off the shoulder olive green Dior dress with a thigh high slit and her hair is blonde, she dyed it for a movie." Mum says as she walks into the room, going to the mirror and putting in her earrings.

"You look beautiful, Mum." I say as I walk over to her and kiss her cheek.

"How did you know that?" I ask her softly and she smiles at me, caressing my cheek with her hand and I lean my head into it and look into her eyes, examining her face. I really do love my mother.

"She sent me a photo of it about an hour ago and I believe she's bringing her boyfriend, James. Have you met him, darling?" She asks me and I feel a tightness in my chest as she says it, he'll be there.

"No, I haven't, but I'm sure he's lovely." I say back, lying. Mum isn't aware of the contract, but she is the smartest woman I know and its obvious she can feel the tension in the air when I say that.

Jeff clears his throat and stands to his feet and ushers us downstairs to the car picking us up from the hotel lobby. I get into the car and we drive to the back of the set where I transfer into another car alone, my heart begins to race. I push the thought of Tilly and Whatever-His-Name is out of my mind, I know she's unhappy, I do, but this is my first movie premiere and I need to at least be proud of myself for how far I've come.