Finer Things // h.s.

Changes

A/N: Hello! I'm back! 

September 27th, 2020

"I think that's the last of everything." I say as Harry and I stand in the middle of our new house, everything unboxed and placed in its designated spots. I throw myself down on the lounge and look around at the house, feeling completely still. For so many months I've felt a swelling mid-ocean storm bubbling inside the pit of my stomach, rising in my body and seeping its salty current through my veins and intoxicating my organs with its waves. But then it stopped. The loudness was quiet once again, the winds had calmed down to a soft summer breeze and the swell had slowly fallen from the tip of my tongue back down my oesophagus, sitting still in my stomach once more. This house is a new beginning, the Oscar was the start of a long and happy career in the industry. For once, I feel okay. 

"Hey guess what." Harry says as he leans down over the lounge and kisses my forehead and I pull his neck slightly towards me and he giggles, moving around the lounge and sitting on the floor cross-legged next to me as I lay spread out on the lounge.

"What's that?" I ask softly and he looks down to the ground, fumbling with the rug beneath him.

"Eight months..." He mumbles and I smile.

"Eight months for what?" I tease, knowing he's talking about the wedding.

"Y'know... Eight months until forever." He smiles and tugs at his bottom lip.

"Baby, we've been forever since kindergarten." I smile and he looks up at me with glassy eyes and I feel the playfulness turn to tension and it makes me feel uneasy.

"What's wrong?" I ask as I sit up on the lounge and he moves closer to me, hugging his large body around my legs, resting his head on my knees. I stroke his hair and tuck small bits of it behind his ear.

"I'm sorry..." He says with a sniffle.

"No, no, don't apologise." I shake my head.

"What's wrong?" I ask him again, speaking softly to him so he feels comfortable to tell me what's going on and continuing to intertwine my fingers through his hair.

"I just... I don't know... I guess I thought the boys and I were forever once, too." He says and I feel my heart drop, realising what he's talking about. I turn my head to the mantel above the large open fireplace and see a framed photo of a selfie the boys took on-stage in 2013. They all look so happy.

"Oh, Harry..." I sigh and he begins to cry a little harder, hugging my legs tighter.

"Guess the night really does change huh..." He says and I stare up to the ceiling, biting down on my lip. I hate seeing him like this, it causes a pain I can't describe. Seeing him unhappy and so distraught breaks me. He's all I care about, I want more than anything for him to be happy but I've come to understand I can't always do that. 

"Have you thought about writing about it?" I ask him.

"Sort of... Everything is just so busy with the Golden music video, I have to leave for Italy next week and it's just... a lot. I wish you could come with me." He sighs and I get down from the lounge and sit with him on the floor.

"Me too, H. Me too."

I have to go to England to begin filming a new movie and I wish I could be there for the music video to support him. But he and I knew these things would be bound to happen, our schedules are so heavy with work, fittings and meetings, sometimes it's difficult to support one another, so we do it from the sidelines of FaceTime.