Finer Things // h.s.

Treat People With Kindness

July 20th, 2019

"I think you're beautiful, Harry." I whisper to him as we lay next to one another on the soft grass outside his house under the bright blue sky, not a cloud in sight. He raises his hand to shield his face from the summer sun, his cheeks glistening with a soft flush from the heat. He squints an eye shut to look at me, his lips curling into a toothy smile as his dimple surfaces through to the top of his skin and I smile at how deliriously in love I am with this man. His curls that droop down his forehead are out of control and he needs a haircut, although I know he'll refuse when I bring up the slight possibility of scissors anywhere near his hair.

"You do?" He smirks, rolling onto his stomach and picking at the green grass as he lay propped up on his elbows, his legs upright in the air behind him as he lay on his stomach.

"Always." I respond and he giggles to himself, making my stomach do backflips.

"Hey, Til..." He mumbles and I stretch out my arms above my head, then neatly folding them behind my hair to elevate me off the grass ever so slightly.

"Hey, H..." I mumble, mimicking his tone of voice as I close my eyes and inhale the sweet scent of the ocean below us.

"What season are you feeling today?" He asks and I open my eyes to look at him. Over the last few months communicating how I feel about losing Dad has been indescribably difficult, so Harry came up with a system he likes to call 'Seasonal Sentiment' where he asks me what season I am today, ultimately allowing he and I to understand where I'm at for the day.

Summer is great. Summer are the days I could sit and talk about Dad for hours on end while making pancakes using his old recipe. Summer is when I could dance around the living room listening to all of Dad's old favourite songs and still feel more than okay after. Summer is happiness and understanding.

Spring is okay. Spring are the days I can talk about Dad and acknowledge how I'm feeling. Spring is when I'm feeling warm and although the feeling of missing Dad is still very much prominant, it's not so much its unbearable.

Autumn is not okay. Autumn are the days when I may want to lay in bed a little longer, or may not want to talk about Dad, but it doesn't mean I won't want too later. Autumn is cold without a hoodie and I'm standing at a bus stop alone, waiting for my next ride of happiness to reach me.

Then there's Winter. Winter are the days in which I can't leave my house, well, Harry's because it's the only place I'm not continually reminded of my father. I've spent almost every night here since coming back to L.A. in March. Winter is bitterness and my fists curling into the bedsheets to silently scream into the thick air because no matter how hard I try on the days we call winter, I still feel like I'm drowning and water fills my lungs so much it becomes crippling. Winter is tear soaked pillows and lack of an appetite.

"Summer." I respond truthfully and he smiles, leaning over me to plant a soft kiss on my lips, cupping my cheeks as his thumb runs back and forth over my cheek.

"How's the album going?" I ask him as we break lips and he smirks.

"I'm really happy with it, just a few more songs and we should be finished."

"How many have you got?" I smile at him.

"Six in total... I'm not sure how many more everyone wants." He says as he sits up cross legged and I do the same, resting my hands on his knees.

"How many do you want?" I ask him softly.

"I'm not sure. It's sort of a sad album right now because I guess I wrote a lot of the tracks when you and I weren't really good. Theres only a few 'bops' as someone would describe them I suppose. But at the same time, I feel like it's not radio material, y'know? Like, the first album I wanted to do a complete 180 on my public appearance. I went more rock... but I want this album to have it all. I want it to have summer tunes you'd listen to with the windows down as you drive down the coast as well as the dreamy rock disposition with hints of sadness and heartache as well as showcasing how completely in love, I fell this year. I want it to be me. Purely me, just... Harry." He says with a quick inhale, breathing out as he speaks and I throw my arms around him, kissing his cheeks repeatedly.