Living Next Door To Alice

18/ The Other Woman

"FP, you're day dreaming." Fred voice was what snapped him out of his thoughts.

He gazed down at his plate and looked straight into his yet untouched bowl of cereal. They had been sitting at the kitchen counter for over fifteen minutes now.

"Guys, I don't know what to do anymore." FP sighed and putted his spoon back inside the bowl after holding it and doing nothing with it for way too long.

"Tell us, what's on your mind?" Archie asked politely, so they could talk about it.

"Let me guess, Alice is?" Fred raised his eye-brow. It was a guess, but a pretty good one.

"Is it that obvious?" FP said quietly, letting out a huff.

"Just a little." Fred teased.

The two men waited for FP to share his thoughts, but he had trouble finding the right words. After a moment of silence wherein he struggled, he finally spoke.

"It's like... every time it's just the two of us, I feel like I want to say so much more than comes out if my mouth." He confessed silently, his cheeks flushing a little.

It had been ages since he last felt this way around somebody and he was embarrassed about the fact that he couldn't control this.

"I know we decided to be friends so she could focus on her family... which I respect, but—" FP sputtered, not being able to get out a whole sentence. How was he supposed to finish that when he said he respected her wishes?

"That doesn't mean your feelings are suddenly gone, you mean." Fred helped him out, feeling perfectly well where this was heading to.

"Yeah, exactly."

"What is is that you feel for her? Have you figured that out yet?" Fred tried to get more out of him, to understand more where FP's head was when it came to Alice.

"I wish it was that simple. It's unlike anything I ever experienced before. It's scary as hell." FP's voice sounded more insecure than he wanted to, but it seemed like he lost control of a lot of things ever since Alice occupied his mind.

"Why don't you try to write it down?" Fred proposed nonchalantly. FP was silent for a bit.

"As in writing a letter, you mean?" He asked to be sure, a frown forming on his forehead as he thought about the suggestion. Fred sensed that FP needed a little more convincing.

"Yes. It helps you clear up your mind, see what's really in there. You can decide later if you want to give it to her or not." He gave his friend a slight smile.

The pressure of writing your feelings down when you didn't have to show it to anybody was way different then when you knew beforehand that people would read it. He could be in control. If he didn't want to show it to Alice, or anyone for that matter, he didn't have to.

"Okay... yeah. That is something I could try." FP nodded in agreement, smiling a little as well. He had never even considered doing something like that.

"I'm bad with words though, what if I make a complete fool of myself?" He asked insecure, as his first impulse was to write something that he could give to Alice. The last thing he wanted was to be laughed at in his face.

"Write from the heart, FP. That way it will always be beautiful." It was all Fred could give him as advice, because now it was up to him to start writing.

**

FP had closed off for a few hours in his bedroom to concentrate on writing down his feelings. The first hour he mostly looked down at the empty paper and played with his pen as he sighed frustratedly, the second hour he had made a first draft that he thrown away and the third hour he had finally everything he wanted to say written down in words. The last hour he had used to read it over and over again.