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"Until I feared I...
I don't like that the pictures were simply placed above each other. The front was okay. Perhaps it can be a little bigger, and the color should be lighter.
The blurb could use a bit more editing. You should put more information regarding the book. I know you wanted it to be some kind of a cliffhanger, but you also need a reason why the reader should jump into it. Otherwise, it's just another story from another writer.
There were mistakes when punctuation; remember to end a dialogue with a period or at least a comma. The syntax needs drastic improvement. Capitalize all the I's and don't put all the dialogue into one paragraph; this only makes the book look messy and dense, not to mention I'm not even sure who's even speaking to who anymore. Avoid adding letters into one word; this makes it look unprofessional. Use a comma when applying a direct address or after an introductory word. Know which tense of the verb to use. Don't use too many commas in one paragraph.
Do work on the flow, and try your best to fill up the plot holes. Try making it clear and more intact. I mean, I can't even identify where all this is going. You can use more descriptive and figurative writing.
The characters were rather interesting, but they need to be more natural. I know that there are characters visuals, but it would help if each character got a short proper introduction despite how minor they are; their interest style of clothing, body type, and more.
