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It is already midnight, but he isn't home yet. I have been twisting and turning for two hours but cannot manage to sleep. I check my phone again to see if he sent a message. Nope. Although it is silly of me to expect a message, habits are hard to get rid of.

My mind is again drifting off to the last year when our relationship was perfect. People say long term relationships kill love, maybe they are right. It is our fifth year together and I am not even sure if he still loves me.

Click.

He came back. From the sound he makes, I know he is drunk again. Steps get closer to the room, so I turn on the light so that he will not hit anywhere.

"Why still awake?" he asks as soon as he enters the room, "Zhang Wei... you keeping eye on meee?" His tone is angry which is funny as he is not even in a condition to take off his tie, let alone forming a normal sentence.

"I am not keeping an eye on you, Li Jie," I sigh heavily, "I was just worried when you did not come home for dinner," I say when I am helping him to get rid of his clothes.

He frowns, "I forgot to send message you, upps!" He chuckles as if it is funny.

"Nevermind, it is not the first time," I help him into bed.

"You are alwayssss complaining," he clicks his tongue and closes his eyes.

Giving out one more sigh, I return to my part in the bed. We still share the same bed, but he does not hug me anymore. He even turns his back on me while sleeping although he knows I cannot fall asleep easily without his touch.

"Can't I have you back?" I ask but there is no answer, he is already sleeping soundly unlike me.

So I look at his back while tears trickle down from my eyes to the pillow, and try to sleep. 

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