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I cannot sleep.

I think I became like an old guy who stops living in the present but takes refuge in the past. Seriously, it is one am but my mind keeps bringing me old happy memories.

I met Li Jie via an online dating site five years ago. Normally, I would never do such a thing like looking for a partner via the internet, but by that time I was super lonely. Right after I told my family that I was gay, they threw me out of the house, saying I could come back only when I "correct" my "wrongdoings".

So, I was staying in a cheap hostel, looking for a job in the daytime and looking for someone I could talk to at nighttime. Being an introverted, I have never had any close friends but by that time, I missed a human voice around me. Therefore, online dating sites sounded like a good idea.

After I met Li Jie online, I felt a click as if we were meant to be together although he was five year older than me. He was funny, outgoing, lovely... everything I was not. I didn't understand what he saw in me, but I was glad for his attention. We chatted almost one month online before I gave in and accepted to meet him in real life.

Oh God, how handsome he was! Broad shoulders, lean legs, muscular arms... The memory still makes me smile. Compared to my 1.75 of a height and fragile pale body, his height of 1.82 with those muscles made him look like a giant next to me. Still does, but we do not come together that much anymore...

I fell in love with him at first sight and later, he also claimed the same, making my heart explode with happiness. Two weeks later, I moved into his house and that was the beginning of our five years of relationship.

"We were so happy, what happened to us?" I ask the sleeping figure next to me yet too far away.

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